me reading all the DMs asking for nudes...
me reading all the DMs asking for nudes...
2021-05-19 16:07:21 +0000 UTC View Post
lauraperlongo posts
20 👉 21 👉 22 👼🏼 No weight gain but feeling...lets call it s..
20 👉 21 👉 22 👼🏼
No weight gain but feeling...lets call it softer...
Baby is a bell pepper which is bigger than a banana? Maybe rounder. Maybe I’m just looking at the wrong peppers.
22 weeks but who’s counting...(me..😳🗓 haha) I miss nyc spri..
22 weeks but who’s counting...(me..😳🗓 haha)
I miss nyc spring drinking / the antics that come w it but between you guys and that second trimester 💦I’m managing 😇
thanks for voting on my new studio / nev’s new workout. The mirror is easily 50 lbs...but CITY VIEWS! hahaha ❤️
good morningggg 🤗 sry about the late night dm, she’s been in..
good morningggg 🤗 sry about the late night dm, she’s been in a mood
2021-05-16 11:02:57 +0000 UTC View Postback when my clothes fit but i still never wore em 🌤
back when my clothes fit but i still never wore em 🌤
2021-05-13 14:23:40 +0000 UTC View Postbeen lookin like a dumpling so had a dream about dumplings s..
been lookin like a dumpling so had a dream about dumplings so had a compulsion to make dumplings 😂...my brain is beyond saving at this point.
in other news i ripped my ripped jeans in a new spot so that’s cool 😳👍
hope everyone having a good day! 🥰😘
cucumber 👉 sweet potato 👉 banana 😝
cucumber 👉 sweet potato 👉 banana 😝
2021-05-11 02:22:39 +0000 UTC View Postonly fans v serious bts 😂 Whatchu think?
only fans v serious bts 😂
Whatchu think?
21 weeks front vs side. ✨ Lookin like a poodle, feeling lik..
21 weeks front vs side. ✨
Lookin like a poodle, feeling like a high school photography student. Terrible exposure. Just terrible.
no 👏 days 👏 off Even though it’s Mother’s Day i had to foc..
no 👏 days 👏 off
Even though it’s Mother’s Day i had to focus and get it 👉👌 😛
I’ve been doing a lot of individual workout videos in the DMs but these are my top 8 favorite pregnancy exercises for everyone to enjoy / practice / judge my holey sweatpants 😇
You don’t need much & can use soup cans for weights. Or a kid. Or whatever heavy stuff is lying around. I do recommend an exercise ball to use now (and bounce on for labor later.) Bands are also pretty cheap, easy to store and you can do a lot of moves w em.
Some people think I overdo the fitness. That pregnant women should sit around eating bon bons (and sometimes i wish i could tbh) BUT I have meralgia paresthetica which is just a super cute way of saying if i don’t work out enough my right leg feels pins n needley (only during pregnancy, it’s super common actually). The sensation isnt unbearable but working out helps and takes 45 mins a day so why not.
Overall it’s good to keep moving and keep your strength up. Moms gonna need some muscle for installing heavy car seats, stroller assembly and chasing after toddlers (when it’s MUCH harder to find time to work out). Plus it makes your baby smarter? Who knows if that’s true.
Ultimately body confidence in pregnancy (and after) is so so important. You might have to skip abs, but your ass can look hot. Even if just for yourself, it’s good to feel good.
Hit me up for private workouts if you need a cheerleader (or just someone to crack the whip).
And Happy Mother’s Day to everybody who is one, gots one or loves one.
❤️❤️❤️
Anticipating all the mouth wipin, boo boo kissin and “mooooo..
Anticipating all the mouth wipin, boo boo kissin and “moooooom” being screamed at me all weekend. Only now i get flowers? WORTH IT. 😇
But YES, I’m partying dammit! I will find a way! Don’t forget to show all the moms some extra love this weekend. No matter how naughty you been, we can’t help but eat it up. 🥰💐💐💐
20 weeks! Half baked bebayeee 🥰🥳🥳🥳
20 weeks! Half baked bebayeee 🥰🥳🥳🥳
2021-05-03 21:58:27 +0000 UTC View Post
18 vs 19 weeks, kinda feelin the lower, softer vibe this wee..
18 vs 19 weeks, kinda feelin the lower, softer vibe this week. Baby went from a 5.5 inch cucumber to a 6 inch mango? Seems like they could have just said 5.5 inch cucumber to 6 inch cucumber and called it a day but what do i know
2021-04-27 07:17:01 +0000 UTC View Post
Can’t stop thinking...Is shake shack good? Do they put coles..
Can’t stop thinking...Is shake shack good? Do they put coleslaw on fries? I had a dream they put coleslaw on fries. It was excellent but they were out of milkshakes and only had coke. I day-dreamed in my real dream about dipping my Shake Shack coleslaw fries into a thick chocolate milkshake. For reference, the dream in a dream milkshake was chocolatier than a Wendy’s frosty but a similar consistency. A little grainy even. Wildly satisfying. Maybe tonight if I write this I’ll dream I find that exact milkshake. Either way the coleslaw fries are worth a 10 hr night’s sleep to try to find again. Going to bed to gettem. I’m sorry you’ll never get a taste. Unless they are real? Maybe I’ll go to shake shack tomorrow....but eh, seems hard, they always have a line. Who wants to be outta bed for that long.
K gnight
Pregnancy brain is so lit guys.
Happy earth day my loves!! Perfect day to be blooming alongs..
Happy earth day my loves!! Perfect day to be blooming alongside the ultimate mother...MA EARTH. 😝 What are you doing for her today? Hmmmm?? ❤️
👉 Today for my moms I’m talking about eco belly rubs. You can’t avoid stretch marks all together but you CAN rub some yummy stuff on your belly that’s environmentally sound, smells good, feels good and doesn’t kill everybody’s favorite dinosaur bird.
Great organic creams are out there in spades. In honor of Earth Day just check and make sure your favorite is too. I use Lauren’s All Purpose Salve in the video because it’s made locally and is completely plant-based, organic and cruelty free. Strangely enough I also use it as a makeup highlighter. Whatever works.
Enjoy and remember that u gorgeous, tiger stripes and all ❤️🐅❤️
will trade cookie for cake*** 😇
will trade cookie for cake*** 😇
2021-04-20 01:04:51 +0000 UTC View PostPregnancy weight gain...the relationship is complicated. Som..
Pregnancy weight gain...the relationship is complicated. Some moments the extra round parts make u feel hot. Like, ready for the cover of playboy, let’s make a NSFW video on Only Fans kinda hot 😝, 3 seconds later (and probably better judgment call on the sex tape 🙃) you look down and see 5 squishy dodge balls of various sizes and deflation levels where your belly, arms and legs used to be.
So there’s how you look & feel (variable and sometimes 🔥🔥🔥). But then you gotta add THE SCALE NUMBER (invariably higher than it was yesterday and sometimes even HOW DID I JUST GAIN 20lbs in 2 WEEKS higher).
As a rule, non-pregnant me never sets foot on a scale. But that can’t really work in pregnancy bc A) the doctor makes you do it and B) if you’re craving cake and only cake like me, its probably a bad idea unless you want to gain 100lbs and go full Venus of Willendorf (which would be rather admirable but your doctor will probably be annoying about it bc bl00d pressure and they don’t want you to die etc) ((insurance reasons 🥸))
So far I’ve gained 8lbs which seems not so much considering in the same time frame I gained 20(!!) with my son. But my son got his shoulder stuck for a little (the doctors blamed his size & my weight gain 😳) and the birth experience was a little scary (bad things can happen when babies get stuck), so now every time i crave cake (ALL DAY EVERY DAY) i have to remind myself to...keep it to half a piece? SO I DONT DIE? The stakes are higher than I’d like.
Dieting when pregnant sucks more than you can know unless you’ve done it. Mainly bc your brain hates you bc ur supposed to be “eating for two and this is BULLSHIT”. But also because people know you can’t drink so bring over desserts as some sort of consolation. STOP BRINGING DESSERTS (but please don’t stop bringing desserts). Send every dessert.
in short:
desserts: YES
dieting: NO
but wait, death: BIG NO
then salad: FINE
then desserts? 😇
call it 18 weeks, front (finally showing a little) vs side (..
call it 18 weeks, front (finally showing a little) vs side (full popped!) 🥰...feeling extra glowy today ❤️❤️❤️
2021-04-18 18:45:11 +0000 UTC View Post
People have been curious so here is 8,11,13 & 16 weeks. The ..
People have been curious so here is 8,11,13 & 16 weeks. The last picture is tonight which is nearly 17 weeks. My mood seems chill n easy in those first trimester pics but i guess I only took photos when I felt like faking it. LET THE RECORD SHOW I WAS HAPPY. My brain felt the dissonance between what I “should” feel and what i did feel. “Lying to your future self is an important part of self preservation. TAKE THE HAPPY PIC. LOOK LIKE A PREGNANT MOM SHOULD”. But quite frankly the instant I became pregnant I lost a piece of myself I forgot I’d get back. The laughy happy piece. My favorite piece. Everyone else’s favorite piece too. You’d think I would have remembered that the pregnancy “glow” isnt always so glowy, especially in the beginning. This being my THIRD baby, how could I STILL be so unprepared for the first trimester emo swamp crawl. I wanted to get pregnant (it’s gonna be great!), I did get pregnant (I’m so lucky!!!)...but then that hormone shoe drops SAME DAY AS THE + STICK (at least for me) and it’s a 3 month rainy day with no Gene Kelly in sight. Some people don’t tell friends and family until 14 weeks because they don’t wanna jinx the pregnancy or discuss a potential loss but for me it’s more because for those weeks I don’t want to hear “congratulations” or celebrate in ANY sense of the word. And i DEFINITELY don’t want to answer “how I’m feeling”. Why do casual acquaintances incessantly ask that? Are you dramamine in human form? An undercover professionally trained therapist who I hired in my sleep? I know it’s a lot to ask but try to dig deep and find a new cliche question you don’t care about the answer to. (Sry too mean? Too mean.) But hey, to put it casually, my main desire in the first trimester was to scream into a cave then go live inside it with only the reverberations of my own despair to keep me company for all eternity. (**Of course I checked “feels fine” on the doctor screener bc they can’t fool me into being on their “bad mother” list**)
But, ya know, time happens even when you don’t notice it. The second trimester hit and the world felt bright again. SO BRIGHT. Like while I was screaming in my pitch black cave, god (if you believe in god) or maybe just someone with really great taste and an interest in vintage lamps came in and redecorated. Quick flip of a switch and BAM. Suddenly my whole pregnant sad girl schtick (cuz the second it’s over it ceases to feel real) is suddenly a distant memory I’m soon to forget. I wasnt a useless piece of human void! NO! I just lost my favorite rose-colored glasses in a crumb-filled couch. All I ever needed was a dollar store dust-buster to dig em out and wash em and WOW YES. The world is clearer and more beautiful than ever. (I just wish it were actually that simple.) Thankfully for me, my hormones took pity on me & my...depression? Melancholy? Malaise? ...was short-lived. It’s not that way for everyone.
When you finally tell people you’re pregnant the first question (after sex and due date) is usually “Were you nauseous?” The short answer is, no, no i wasn’t. As if not being nauseous makes me some kind of first trimester superhero. A bricK! A tank! MADE FOR PROCREATION. “This here woman is invincible!!” (I wasn’t invincible, obviously) . But maybe I was still somebody’s hero. My baby’s? Maybe the time for moms to stop being so hard on ourselves and each other shouldn’t be saved for baby milestones and play date etiquette, maybe it should start a little bit earlier. Like DAY ONE. Being crabby and miserable is part of the ride. But it’s far from the whole ride. Hang in there everybody. Pregnant or not, this life is a real loop-di-loop. I’m with you. The good, the bad and the ugly cry. ❤️
But yep, 17 weeks is a great place to be. (And look at me now! Fake poutin’. Ha. Funny how that works)
16 1/2 weeks 😝 front vs side 😳😂
16 1/2 weeks 😝 front vs side 😳😂
2021-04-09 15:59:45 +0000 UTC View Postgave up sweets last week, doing great 🤫
gave up sweets last week, doing great 🤫
2021-04-08 23:10:35 +0000 UTC View Post