ok so here we are...28 weeks 😝 front vs side vs view from feet 😂
School’s out for summer so consistency about to be out the window. Mirrors are limited so I’m standing on my kid’s footstool for the side shot. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WORK UNDER THESE CONDITIONS!? At least I have JFK words of wisdom and a free-spirited horse to cheer me on? Haha
More good news is i discovered this lion thong in my panty drawer. A real winner if you ask me.
But yes, THIRD TRIMESTER. The final chapter. I would say I feel the same but then my back would spasm on cue n call me liar. I feel feeble asf. Good news is my kids totally understand and don’t make me bend down 6000 times a day (😳😳😳 SAVE ME lol)
Cake cravings have subsided though unless you count frosting in which case I want gallons of it. But where do you find the stuff!? Considering opening my own chain of frosting-only stores. It’s what the world needs.
Unzippable pants looked dumb from the side and ultimately dropped the headscarf too but proud of myself for trying something new? 😂
Feeling extra vulnerable lately. Maybe it’s the sore back or random bouts of dizziness and exhaustion, but more likely it’s the social isolation. I’m still invited to things (mostly) but not being able to relax with a couple drinks or sit comfortably for longer than an hour (or climb on tables and be ridiculous if I’m totally honest) is harder than I’d like to admit. I miss adult goofinnnnn w my friennns. Can’t wait to have my bodyyy back. (She says w 13 weeks to go + breastfeeding 😳 haha)
As “excited” as other people might be for the baby (including your partner) sometimes it hits you that you’re ultimately, physically growing this baby alone. This likely stemming from Nev mentioning he wanted to do an off Broadway show (in Wisconsin) the same month I’m meant to give birth. He said no of course but wanted me to know it was a sacrifice. Meanwhile I’m sacrificing sitting comfortably...but ya know, life isn’t fair. We’re social creatures but the human experience is largely individual (until we start fusing brains & nervous systems...but also, NO THANKS haha) But fuck em. I mean love them, but do you. Pop on a headscarf or song or maybe even just stare at a wall for awhile and let yourself evolve away from the noise of others. Sometimes, even more importantly, away from the noise of who you used to be.
Sending transformative love and power your way this week. Make it a good one ❤️
checking in / hope you’re having a good night (sorta 😏)
nev’s been gone and I’m staying in for the 5th night in a row bc they haven’t oiled the streets enough for my body to effectively roll around on and I definitely don’t wanna call an attendant to fish me outta the gutter. I do want chicken fingers though, fuck. I wanna go bowling. Can a pregnant lady go bowling alone on a Saturday night? There’s a joke in there somewhere.
In all seriousness theres a tiny pineapple growing above my bed. She’s perfect. We’re in love.
26 weeks official and these curves feelin niiiiiice 😛
Maybe cuz I’m naturally curve...light?... I love em more. It’s like the puberty I waited for in high school finally hit.
Went to a bbq yesterday and strangers kept telling me I looked small tho...like that was a good thing? I’m like bitch back tf offfff, let me enjoy my watermelon belly and “massive” (lol) C cup in cake-eating silence. I worked hard for this! Also, there were 3 unlicensed belly touchers, boomers rly can’t help themselves 🙄🥲
June 11, 2015...our first date anniversary 🥰🥰🥰Only six yrs but feels like a cliche liiiifetime. Most people don’t celebrate this kinda thing but our first day was notably epic so, ya know, we do a thing.
That first pic was taken by my coworker the moment Nev and I met (meant as a troll no doubt). Look at our nervous arms! What do you do with the handdds!?Haha. That morning he had instagram DM’d me asking if i wanted to go for a ride on his motorcycle. My first thought was WHO ASKS A STRANGER OUT LIKE THAT?! But I was intrigued (and depressed about my recent ex who had moved on with lightening speed to a 20 year old model (who later dumped him for a DJ...😂😈)) But ANYWAY I said “ha. duh.” and Nev picked me up from work on this...dirt bike? In shorts? I had my doubts. But BUT...the night was insanely magical! Dinner, rain, a RAINBOW, random fireworks (like real fireworks) and ear to ear grins on everyone including my coworkers when i showed up to work the next day in the same outfit 😈😈😈
The second picture is from a couple weeks into dating. Needless to say we enjoyed each other’s germs very quickly. Was all v fun. V travel. Whatever whatever. But then THEN a month after this, out of the blue, Nev broke up with me. His reason being he was “too in love”. Mmmmmhmmmmm. I could picture whatever model he would date next. Have fun byeeeeee.
After this I refused to talk to him for the entire summer and dated about 1000 people and was JUST FINE. My camera roll nudes during this period are truly 👨🏻🍳‘s 💋 and my hair, notably, never brushed. 😇
After a couple months of fully ignoring his texts (ranging from “How are you?”’ to “I MADE A HUGE MISTAKEEEE”) , I agreed to see him under the condition he install a window AC in my 4th floor walk up. It WAS very hot and I definitely enjoyed watching him do manual labor while I kicked back w a lemonade.
It didn’t seal the “back together” deal for me but I agreed to see him very casually and he continued to do the cheesiest shit imaginable to “win me back” (see pic 3) 🙄🥰
Six years and nearly 3 kids later I’ve almost forgiven him. ALMOST. haha.
I guess the moral of the story is...be bold? do things that scare you? or maybe it’s hold a grudge? Haha. Either way, I wouldn’t change a thing.
25 weeeeks 😝 front vs mini turn vs full side view 😳
He moved this whole shoot!!! Haha lil eggplant angelll. I’m already obsessed.
Still feeling cute naked (i think? Haha) but I’ve officially declared war on my closet and pretty much just wear the same stretchy mini skirt w a crop top every day. It gets a lot of compliments as also being “cute” (usually followed up by “I could never wear that while pregnant”) which is funny bc it feels lazy and we all know why they “could never”...bc it’s thoty ASF (for school pick up in particular 😂😂😂🤦🏻♀️) but hey better than 10lbs of fabric on a 90 degree day? (I wouldn’t know bc I’ve never tried it**)
Sending all the good vibes and love this week! Make it a good one ❤️❤️❤️
Read today that if the baby came out now he’d probably survive! 🤩 Of course I want him to cook more but feeling a minor sense of accomplishment? Lol.
On a more personal note I felt absolutely huge all weekend. Coulda been the 3-day torrential downpour or the endless desserts. Probably the rain bc m&ms are small and ice cream is basically just water, no? Boobs oddly seem smaller but i think it’s just in relation to the growing belly. 🙆🏻♀️
Somewhere between the nipple change dialogue and listening to the Olivia Rodrigo album on repeat I’ve been transported to pre-bb me. Do I miss her? Am i still her? (only now with a different nipple shade?)
Her track jealousy slapsss. “Comparison is killin' me slowly. I think, I think too much about the kids who don't know me. And I'm so sick of myself. I'd rather be anyone else.”
So good! So angst!
But as you get older it’s not necessarily other people you’re jealous of. Now you also get to throw previous versions of yourself in the mix. Thank god you (hopefully) learn how to tell yourself to shut the fuck up.
Sure, I miss having time to lie on dirty kitchen floors posing for my boyfriend so he can make his John Baldessari “inspired” erotic knock- off. BUT, ya know, do i?
Free time to fake juggle is great, but have you ever tried the real thing? Getting pounced on early morning (and not necessarily the kind you hoped for...), lunch packing, throwing socks, bags, shoes and kids out a door (we’re laaaaate!), pretending to be a regular person 8-3 anddd....pick ups, play dates with total strangers (in their own version of this same hurricane) skinned knees, sibling fights, near-death experiences (STOP AT THE LIIIIGHT!!) and snacks on snacks on snacks. Then BB BEDTIME. Then, fun time, sexy time, exhausted time. It’s messy, milky, bloody, oozy and tear-stained. It’s not posed. Ever. And if it is, everyone looks depressed bc why stand still when there is SO MUCH CHAOS TO ENJOY.
To me, the new juggle is more tied to the universe. Deeper, richer and ultimately hotter.
The sentiment in this photo to me is one of carefree living. Toss up the balls, who cares. Look how effortless they are just floating in space.
But the balls will drop. We took this photo 1000 times to get the right one. Defying gravity and successfully avoiding change is for photos and fairytales. The lie is in the picture, in the mirror or whatever stories we tell ourselves as way to go back. We can’t! I mean, some people try but they usually end up looking a bit clownish w all that face filler...BUT THATS ALSO A PHASE FOR THEM! An evolution. Everyone has to accept change one way or another, even if it means a new plastic surgeon cuz their last one was sued for malpractice.
But there is truth in the sentiment. Letting life do its thing. Putting those balls in the air as much as you can cuz life is short and eventually the last ball will drop. Sometimes it’s beautiful, sometimes it’s a total disaster, but it’s never exactly the same twice. Hopefully we don’t dwell too much on one moment or nipple shade, it prevents us from tossing balls! Take a pic if you can, evolution is fun to watch. But don’t try to go back. It’s boring at best. The old nipples had their fun. The new ones are still having it.
Sending out all the good in the moment vibes today. You’re perfect. ❤️❤️❤️
New “studio” isnt apples to apples but we at a grapefruit now so no looking back 😛
Body weight now shifting forward big time putting extra pressure on the low back. Trying to be diligent & counter it with daily, low impact, leg/butt workouts. My back and Nev both seem to be enjoying the benefits 😊
no avoiding it, really looking pregnant from all angles.
I was offered a mocktail at a restaurant over the weekend. Observant of the waitress to notice my belly but also a strange acknowledgement of my condition without actually acknowledging it. I might have even considered having one of my 3 allotted sips of wine/week...but would it be worth the shock and dismay of this well-meaning but judgemental server?
Turns out, YES, it was. I ordered a wine and didn’t touch it to prove a point. I basked in her dirty looks all night and noticed the relief when it went untouched. I would normally feel bad for taking pleasure in the discomfort of others but I gotta get my kicks in where I can these days. 😇
To focus content I’ve got two groups going: pregnancy/baby/mom/mood🎢 & just the (growing) bodyody 💦 . Crossover is cool but don’t be shy to tell me what you want.😇
I’ll be available tonight to chat, sending all the love ❤️💋❤️
Canceled my plans today bc nothing but sweats fit...
Even if I love the new curves some days it feels too heavy to be out in public in something that doesn’t feel like you.
After bursting into tears and realizing I couldn’t recover in time to leave the house I thought about why, STILL, on my third pregnancy, I can’t suck it up and put on a long billowy curtain dress and feel fine like it seems everyone else does. Maternity clothes exist of course and I’ve been in the dressing rooms fiddling with whatever pulley system they’ve designed to try and deflect from the fact that it’s a $300 potato sack (up-charging because they know you have no where else to go). I’ve even pulled the trigger once or twice to find myself in a meeting or out to dinner as the cliche frumpy grumpy pregnant buzzkill. Awful. I’d rather cry into my closet and stay home.
But do the clothes really make the woman? Admitting that confidence comes from feeling good in your skin which, for me, translates to what I put over it, is super embarrassing. I always wear outrageous stuff that makes no sense, but maybe that’s exactly what I miss. Options.
Thankfully some days it does feel easy to improvise. A form-fitting, above the belly stretchy skirt and crop top works well in the summer. Overalls and a bralet. Anything tight and soft and stretchy really...looking back at myself an hour ago why couldn’t I just roll w the punches?
But pregnancy is sneaky. One day you feel like a life-giving goddess, the next, a freaky science project at the reject fair. You have little control over which way the wind blows. Hopefully in either scenario you find the courage to get dressed.
People have applauded me in the past for showing so much skin when pregnant. Embracing the female form, empowering other pregnant women to do the same. I just wished more clothes were designed with that same ethos. As empowering as nudity is, dressing should be equally so.
I’ll make sure I post more clothes here because today made me realize how much we need to see pregnant women NOT in billowy florals this summer (unless they feel hot and confident in them in which case GO FOR IT). Meanwhile I’ll try to do it my way best I know how.
