While not everyone experiences sexual interest or desire, many enjoy letting their imagination explore erotic scenarios and possibilities which might heighten their pleasure. Sexual fantasies can also be a beautiful form of creative expression!
A few things to keep in mind:
1) Fantasies Do Not Have to Ever Be Brought to Reality
Just because something excites you doesn’t mean you have to experience it. You can talk dirty about it with a partner and still never do it. You can masturbate thinking about it and still never do it. You get to explore your fantasies in whatever way feels safe to you.
2) There Is Nothing Wrong With You
The array of sexual fantasies people are interested in is vast, probably more expansive than you are even aware of. All sexual fantasies are valid, despite what we’ve been taught. When acting on the fantasies obviously everyone’s enthusiastic consent is necessary, but it is completely ok for your fantasies to be as unique and creative as you are.
3) Fantasies Can Help Us Reclaim Our Power
Fantasies and k!nk scenes can be a beautiful and safe way to process traumatic experiences and can help us rewrite those experiences and build safety in our bodies. This doesn’t mean this will work for everyone but if it’s something you’ve been desiring please know this is common and I’ll speak for myself when I say the healing power these type of scenes have had for me have rivaled that of years of therapy. I would recommend working with a trauma-informed practitioner to start if this is something you’d like to explore but aren’t sure about.
4) Sharing Fantasies Can Facilitate Connection and Intimacy
It’s rather common for people to experience shame around some of their fantasies. Finding someone you trust enough to share these with them and then having that person witness you in that vulnerability can be extremely healing. Not sure where to start? Maybe start with one small thing to begin to build that trust and connection and then take small steps from there. Don’t have someone you can trust with them? We live in such a technologically connected time, seek out connections on FetLife or Reddit and start to connect with others who share your fantasies and see how it feels to be able to share honestly what you’re desiring. You might even be inspired by other people’s exploration and experience.
5) Go Slow
Often we have these big, beautiful, creative fantasies and we desire to experience them fully but I personally would recommend starting slow. Start by incorporating small pieces of the fantasy into scenes and work your way up to a full-blown scene. You can incorporate smaller pieces of the fantasy into other play and learn what you like, what feels edgier, and what your limits are. This will help you plan larger scenes and help build safety both with your partner and with your desires, boundaries, and limits.
Always happy to do a virtual chat session here to help you explore your fantasies - DM me for rates.
I want to make this page what y’all want it to be so I’m going to do some polls this week & I would 💕love 💕 it if you would answer so I can make more content you like 😊
What if we didn’t accept society’s perspective that k!nk meant something was inherently wrong with you and, even if it was being used as a healing modality, that doesn’t mean it’s a negative thing?
We as a society are starting to finally discuss the importance of consent and hearing our no’s but what if we were equally as respectful of people’s yes’s? What if we encouraged one another to say yes to things that feel pleasurable and exciting?
I wrote a whole article talking about this more in depth and as always, I’m available for somatic healing sessions or DM sessions to help hold space for you about this - dm me for details 😊
It’s totally off season but no one ever got to see these cute ass xmas photoshoots so please enjoy and activate my praise kink by telling me how cute I look.
Single or in a partnership, it’s so important for you to take time to think about what you are hoping to experience from a threesome.
Some good questions to start with might be: - What are you desiring? - What sounds sexy? - What doesn’t sound sexy? - What makes you nervous? - What are some boundaries you might have? - What feels vulnerable about this endeavor? - What are you hoping to experience?
If this is a conversation you’ll be navigating with a partner, I still think it’s good to take some time alone to think through your desires so you can come to the conversation with one another informed.
*Communicate Openly and Honestly*
If you're have the threesome with a partner or FWB or a friend or anyone you know, it’s an excellent idea to discuss how you’re all feeling openly and honestly so everyone can be on the same page and eliminate so many of the questions that you might be overthinking about.
When you sit down with your person to discuss, remember there is no right or wrong way to do this as long as you both (and any future partners you might have) all feel good and excited about everything that’s happening.
Share your desires, share your fears, share your boundaries - this gets to be a really beautiful space to love and support each other during a vulnerable conversation.
*Get on Dating Apps*
Now that you’re on the same page, it’s a great time to get on dating apps. I personally like Feeld & Hinge the best, but that’s a personal preference. I like that Feeld lets you have group chats and links to your partner's accounts - I think it gives an outstanding level of transparency.
When you’re setting up the account(s) be clear about what your situation is, what you’re desiring, what your limits might be, and a little about yourself! What you’re looking for won’t be for everyone, and that’s ok! But being explicitly clear gives people a chance to opt-out and not feel tricked.
*Have Check-Ins*
As you chat, maybe go on dates and maybe even start to play with other people, things will come up. Make sure you check in with everyone involved.
How are you feeling? Are there things you like a lot? Are there things you don’t love? Are there things you want to pull back on? What about your partner(s)? How are they feeling? What might be coming up for people?
Everyone says they want good communication, but when it’s time to get vulnerable and share and walk the walk we often shy away from the hard conversation. Lean in here and choose vulnerability & connection.
*Discuss Desires, Limits & Boundaries*
This is so important to build safety in what you and your partner(s) are building. You want to make sure everyone is on the same page and that you know what isn’t available before you jump into bed. It’s a beautiful opportunity to get to not only build intimacy and trust but also to start to think about what you all might do together and build some sexual tension.
*Have Fun!*
Yes, there should be a lot of communication, and there should be thought that goes into these experiences, AND don’t forget that everyone wants to have fun! So remember to take a deep breath and enjoy each other!
LMK if you have any questions about exploring threesomes, I'd love to answer them!
Hii, I'm Lexi, a chaotic neurodivergent bisexual switch of a witch, and I want this space to be fun, playful, and slutty but also educational.
If you're just here for the ass content...enjoy!
If you want to dive deeper and live a kinkier more pleasure-filled life, I am a somatic coach who specializes in kink, sex, relationships, and nonmonogamy, and I'd love to support you on your journey.
Drop any questions in the comments...are there comments? IDK we're learning together 🤷
