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I’d ask my teddy bear if he’s hungry, but he’s stuffed.

I’d ask my teddy bear if he’s hungry, but he’s stuffed.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be sta..

No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

Writing with a dull pencil is pointless.

Writing with a dull pencil is pointless.

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What do you call a piece of toast at the zoo? Bread in capti..

What do you call a piece of toast at the zoo? Bread in captivity.

The golfer brought an extra pair of pants in case he got a h..

The golfer brought an extra pair of pants in case he got a hole in one.

This whiteboard is remarkable.

This whiteboard is remarkable.

Inspecting mirrors is a job I could really see myself doing.

Inspecting mirrors is a job I could really see myself doing.

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Why does Peter Pan fly all the time? He Neverlands.

Why does Peter Pan fly all the time? He Neverlands.

How do you kill a circus? Go for the juggler

How do you kill a circus? Go for the juggler

did a performance about puns. Really it was just a play on w..

did a performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words.

What would you call a fish with a missing eye? A fsh, probab..

What would you call a fish with a missing eye? A fsh, probably.

 I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit..

 I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me

 I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

 I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

Once you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.

Once you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.

I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was afraid it wo..

I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was afraid it wouldn’t help me.

My fear of moving stairs is escalating.

My fear of moving stairs is escalating.

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I wanted to buy a camouflage shirt, but I didn’t see one.

I wanted to buy a camouflage shirt, but I didn’t see one.

Did you hear about that great new shovel? It’s ground breaki..

Did you hear about that great new shovel? It’s ground breaking.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

I meant to look for my missing watch, but I could never fin..

I meant to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.

Broken puppets for sale. No strings attached.

Broken puppets for sale. No strings attached.

I knew a woman who owned a taser. Man, was she stunning!

I knew a woman who owned a taser. Man, was she stunning!

What do you call a train carrying bubblegum?A chew-chew trai..

What do you call a train carrying bubblegum?

A chew-chew train.

Did you hear the rumour about butter?Never mind, I shouldn’t..

Did you hear the rumour about butter?

Never mind, I shouldn’t spread it.