What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming beards?..
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming beards? A clipptomaniac!
2023-09-02 18:00:37 +0000 UTC View Post
violetsvip posts
What do you call a virgin on a water bed? *A cherry float!* ..
What do you call a virgin on a water bed? *A cherry float!* 🍒
2023-09-01 18:00:24 +0000 UTC View PostMy friend lost is job at the zoo- They caught him *spanking ..
My friend lost is job at the zoo- They caught him *spanking the monkey.* 🙈
2023-08-31 18:00:13 +0000 UTC View PostWhy can't Frankenstein have kids? His nuts are on his neck ..
Why can't Frankenstein have kids? His nuts are on his neck 😆
2023-08-30 18:00:16 +0000 UTC View PostWhat do you call a sports competition between guys with erec..
What do you call a sports competition between guys with erectile dysfunction? *The o-limp-dicks*
2023-08-29 18:00:19 +0000 UTC View PostWhen my friend handed me a peach, I told him I prefer pears...
When my friend handed me a peach, I told him I prefer pears. So he handed me another one... Do you have a pair I could get my hands on? 🍐🍐
2023-08-28 18:00:11 +0000 UTC View PostIf I won $1M in the lottery I'd give a quarter of it to char..
If I won $1M in the lottery I'd give a quarter of it to charity! *...and put the other $999,999.75 in the bank.* 🤭
2023-08-27 18:00:11 +0000 UTC View PostI can’t take my dog to the park as all the ducks keep trying..
I can’t take my dog to the park as all the ducks keep trying to bite him... My fault for getting one that’s pure bread. 🍞🐶
2023-08-26 18:00:10 +0000 UTC View PostNever kiss your hunny when her nose is runny- You may think..
Never kiss your hunny when her nose is runny- You may think it's funny but it's snot
2023-08-25 18:00:12 +0000 UTC View PostWhere can you find a beach covered with frozen waffles? *Sa..
Where can you find a beach covered with frozen waffles? *Sandy Eggo*
2023-08-24 18:00:14 +0000 UTC View PostWhy do a lot of math nerds wear glasses? It helps with *d'v..
Why do a lot of math nerds wear glasses? It helps with *d'vision.*
2023-08-23 18:00:16 +0000 UTC View PostThe Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, and the tooth fairy walk into..
The Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, and the tooth fairy walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says *“What is this, some kind of joke?”*
2023-08-22 18:00:21 +0000 UTC View PostYears ago Sean Connery found a cupboard in his house that he..
Years ago Sean Connery found a cupboard in his house that he hadn't used before. It was a rare moment of *shelf discovery.*
2023-08-21 19:00:12 +0000 UTC View PostWhy is it called Canadian bacon? Because we’re really sorry..
Why is it called Canadian bacon? Because we’re really sorry it’s not *real* bacon...
2023-08-20 19:00:13 +0000 UTC View PostWhy does a queen bee have so many mates? Their survival rel..
Why does a queen bee have so many mates? Their survival relies on their poly-nation. 🐝
2023-08-19 19:00:14 +0000 UTC View PostAn Italian couple were getting busy on their wedding night. ..
An Italian couple were getting busy on their wedding night. But when the husband took off his pants, the wife received quite a shock. Where his business should have been was a small monkey. "My God!" she exclaimed. "It's a monkey!" "No," responded the husband. "It's-a macaque." 🙈 **Happy National Couples Day!**
2023-08-18 19:00:16 +0000 UTC View PostRoller coasters are like your first time having sex- For th..
Roller coasters are like your first time having sex- For the amount of time it takes to get there, you wish it lasted longer!
2023-08-16 19:00:19 +0000 UTC View PostI thought they testicle convention would be a good place to ..
I thought they testicle convention would be a good place to relax and unwind, but... ...it was just nuts!
2023-08-15 19:00:23 +0000 UTC View PostGood Morning! I'm taking a trip this week & wont have access..
Good Morning! I'm taking a trip this week & wont have access to wifi, so I likely wont be able to send out campaign content for a few days! I'll respond to priority messages with tips when I can & catch up on regular DMs when I'm back 💜
2023-08-15 13:00:31 +0000 UTC View PostWhat do you call a rap battle event between lizards? *A rep..
What do you call a rap battle event between lizards? *A reptile diss function.*
2023-08-14 19:01:23 +0000 UTC View PostIf you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball ..
If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball in your right hand, what do you have? Kermit’s undivided attention.
2023-08-13 19:00:14 +0000 UTC View PostWhat did the Elephant say, when he saw a naked man? *How do..
What did the Elephant say, when he saw a naked man? *How do you breathe thru something that tiny?* 🐘
2023-08-12 19:00:15 +0000 UTC View PostI like mountains. But volcanoes are ash holes.
I like mountains. But volcanoes are ash holes.
2023-08-11 19:00:17 +0000 UTC View PostWhat do you call a pornstar with no legs? A lazy Susan.
What do you call a pornstar with no legs? A lazy Susan.
2023-08-10 19:00:18 +0000 UTC View Post**A dirty book** is rarely dusty *Happy National Book Love..
**A dirty book** is rarely dusty *Happy National Book Lovers Day!*
2023-08-09 13:00:24 +0000 UTC View PostIf I had a dollar for everyone that found me Unattractive- T..
If I had a dollar for everyone that found me Unattractive- They’d eventually find me Attractive!
2023-08-08 19:00:22 +0000 UTC View PostWhat did the pirate say when he saw a lighthouse? **Thar sh..
What did the pirate say when he saw a lighthouse? **Thar she glows!** Happy *National Lighthouse Day* 🌊
2023-08-07 19:00:35 +0000 UTC View PostA local farmer just successfully grew a field of vibrators- ..
A local farmer just successfully grew a field of vibrators- Unfortunately, now he's got a problem with squatters
2023-08-06 19:00:57 +0000 UTC View PostWhy don't chicken wear underwear? Cuz their peckers on thei..
Why don't chicken wear underwear? Cuz their peckers on their face 🐓
2023-08-05 19:00:37 +0000 UTC View PostHad a water balloon fight in my neighbourhood today- I won!..
Had a water balloon fight in my neighbourhood today- I won! 🏅 No one is a match for me and my kettle. 😈 Happy National Water Balloon Day!
2023-08-04 19:00:17 +0000 UTC View Post