girloftheforest

Why are all my favorite machines always taken by undeniably ..

Why are all my favorite machines always taken by undeniably stupid, unattractive, ugly, repulsive, horrifying people? And why do men in gyms sit on their phones for hours? Is that some kind of illness?

Good day, my dear ones. I hope you’re all doing great. I, fo..

Good day, my dear ones. I hope you’re all doing great. I, for one, am doing absolutely fantastic because, guess what, I slept from 4 AM to 2 PM. So if you ever catch me online after midnight Latvian time again, please block me and report me. On the bright side, my mom woke me up with a glorious bag containing two cheeseburgers, fries, and Coke Zero (to stay slim, obviously). Oh, and a bar of Dubai chocolate. What a perfect morning!

Today, I want to tell you about visual novels. Visual novels are a narrative genre where storytelling and dialogues are enhanced by the visual depiction of characters, events, and active player involvement. The player takes control of one or more characters and, as the story progresses, makes decisions that shape their personality, choices, and even romantic interests. Essentially, it’s an interactive comic book.

I absolutely love visual novels. I discovered Romance Club three years ago, and later, the brilliant League of Dreamers. A year ago, I stopped playing due to depression since I couldn’t relax or focus, but recently, I’ve come back to them. I started my return with League of Dreamers.

Romance Club and League of Dreamers share one core feature that drew me in—they prioritize the story above everything else. Most of the time, I went through the stories without even having a favorite romantic interest, as romance doesn’t intrigue me much. But amazing tales filled with adventure, tragedy, battles, death, and character growth? Now that’s what takes my breath away.

These two apps, however, differ greatly. Romance Club is more juvenile. Often, the heroines are excessively praised by other characters, possess abilities that don’t align with their experience or status, or receive admiration and outright affection for doing absolutely nothing—or even for being rude. Additionally, the success of relationships, decisions, and endings often depends on how many premium choices you purchase. Some stories also lean into over-the-top tolerance in inappropriate ways, and the sex scenes are often absurdly cringey.

All in all, today I’ll criticize Romance Club more than praise it. The developers focus on quantity over quality, releasing new stories with every update, which often results in mediocrity. That said, many of the stories are incredibly immersive, and a few even make you think deeply.

League of Dreamers, on the other hand, is a different story. This app is less popular because it targets a more mature and thoughtful audience. The novels are long, with intricate and often heavy plots, protagonists with distinct personalities, and love interests who are full-fledged characters with their own lives, not just empty shells designed to adore the heroine.

In particular, I want to tell you about one specific novel: Silence of the Sea.

Initially, the novel hooked me—surprisingly—because of one of the love interests, Koschei the Immortal. The author modeled his character after my favorite Melkor, and when I accidentally stumbled upon a screenshot from the novel, I immediately recognized familiar traits. I started digging for more information and realized that this was an entire story set in a Slavic world—a rare find.

I downloaded League of Dreamers, saved up emeralds for premium choices, and began playing. Since this was my first novel in the app, I was absolutely blown away by the events, the writing, and the quality. The story takes place in a fairy-tale world with a fictional map divided between human kingdoms, the Sea Kingdom, and the realms of supernatural creatures.

You play as Marya Morevna, the heiress of the Sea Kingdom and its ruler. She’s basically a machine of death and violence. She’s immortal, ancient, and powerful. She knows how to rule, fight, and kill—and she does it well.

The plot revolves around the disappearance of the Sea King and one of human tsars. All evidence points to Koschei the Immortal, a powerful lich with whom Marya waged a devastating war years ago, ultimately imprisoning him. Before becoming a lich, Koschei was a sorcerer—a melancholic, witty, and ambitious man. Depending on the player’s choices, Marya could have had a relationship, friendship, or mere acquaintance with him in the past. Obviously, he—and later Koschei—was my romantic interest.

Marya teams up with the missing tsar’s son, Ivan Tsarevich, and embarks on a journey to find the missing rulers. At the same time, due to her father’s disappearance, she loses her connection to water magic.

Along the way, they encounter characters from Slavic folklore and fairy tales—Vodyanoy, Bayun the Cat, One-Eyed Likho, the bogatyr, Baba Yaga, the Unsmiling Tsarevna, Tsar Dadon, and many others. And these are not just names—each character is memorable and filled with vivid, often eerie color.

Eerie, because many of the characters are sinister, cunning, and cruel. The supernatural forces are unique and far from safe, and the narrative revolves around the theme of the Underworld (Навь)—the realm of undeath, whose influence has turned Koschei into an unstoppable weapon, bringing everything to ruin.

Interacting with everyone requires care—a careless word or action will have VERY far-reaching consequences.

As the story progresses, you learn of a northern knyaz whose goal is to unite all human kingdoms and exterminate every supernatural being. He wields an incredible military power—gunpowder.

At this point, I’m dying to share spoilers, because when I started writing this, my intention was to talk about my impressions of the ending. But I really hope that some of my followers won’t shy away from trying this story themselves and maybe even getting into the world of visual novels.

And honestly, there’s no point in discussing the ending because the story is so intricately woven that I’d have to recount the entire novel for it to make sense. So I’ll settle for a general description.

What struck me deeply about the story—besides the rivers of🩸— is that love interests die. And they die like flies. I personally executed Vodyanoy because of a rivalry for the Sea throne. Ivan was killed by Koschei. Vasilysa was eaten by Baba Yaga. I don’t even consider these spoilers since there are more variations of death than there are characters. Secondary characters don’t even bear mentioning. It’s also very easy for the protagonist herself to die, both throughout the plot and in several endings.

As for Marya herself, she’s far from a delicate, sensitive woman. Her character is sharp, authoritative, and ruthless. In many ways, she felt emotionally primitive to me and too forward. But that made it even more fascinating to follow her journey—not as “me in a 2D skin picking between boys,” but as a fully realized heroine navigating her path among equally vital characters.

And about the ending—it blew me away that even with tons of emeralds, the best stats, and purchasing almost every premium choice, I still ended up with what could be considered a “bad ending.” Although, personally, I liked it. In this story, as in life, events are influenced not by “good or bad” decisions, but by chance and combinations of circumstances that often lacked any specific intent. No spoilers here, but it’s going to take me a while to recover.

As far as I know, the novel has been translated into English, and there are guides available in English as well. I can’t speak to the quality of the translation since I played in Russian, but in Russian, the old-fashioned language and folk expressions are absolutely stunning. I highly recommend it to anyone interested in Slavic culture, mentality, and folklore.

Now, I’m off to explore other novels!

Why is my butt such a weird shape?

Why is my butt such a weird shape?

Guys, I cleaned the pellet boiler once again. Look at how am..

Guys, I cleaned the pellet boiler once again. Look at how amazingly it’s burning! I swear, I’m absolutely in love with this boiler. Interacting with it gives me genuine sexual excitement. If it were a man, I’d totally sleep with it.

I had such a nice evening because I paid some guy on the int..

I had such a nice evening because I paid some guy on the internet to farm a mount in WoW for me, so I was free from that nightmare. It’s been a wonderful lazy day overall. The only downside is that due to my terrible diet—lots of citrus fruits and fast carbs—my entire body and face broke out in acne. Oh well, it’ll clear up by tomorrow. Right now, I’m sitting at my computer, practicing handwriting with my left hand and watching documentaries about the arms race between the USA and the USSR and the first atomic bombs.

And here I am thinking: politics is such an embarrassing mess, especially in modern times. Like, back in the day, you could at least believe in real conflicts between regions because there was no efficient logistics, long-distance communication, reliable documentation, or abundance of resources. But now? There’s nothing to justify it. It’s just some people, completely detached from ordinary lives, living in their own schizophrenic delusions and playing games with others just like them on the other side of the planet, all while presenting it as something super important and valuable. Honestly, it’s so cringeworthy. Not even in a judgmental way—it’s just pure cringe.

And the motivation behind it all? The schizophrenic nonsense of people who already have more money than they know what to do with but still want to “get richer” through geopolitics. Or maybe they’re just bored—who knows. Meanwhile, we’re subjected to this whole theatrical production starring politicians, heads of state, influencers, and other self-serving individuals who just can’t wait to get their hands on the money. They’d happily argue that 2+2=5 if it got them closer to the trough.

Back in the day, people would take up pitchforks and burn these parasites out of their nests. Later, bold and cunning individuals would organize secret societies to overthrow the ruling powers. But now? Every social network, every phone call, even every fart is monitored. And let’s be real: even to protest, you need government permission; otherwise, an army will literally come after you 🥴 This is the endgame, a trap that’s already snapped shut.

Most of my followers are Americans, but I’m from Eastern Europe. Watching what’s happening here leaves me speechless. For example, in Russia, sanctioned products are being sold after being routed through Ukraine—trade routes haven’t been destroyed at all. Russian figures who suggest ending the war with a targeted strike on enemy governments instead of tormenting civilians are declared foreign agents and criminals. Meanwhile, Russian prisoners—murderers and others —are freed and sent to war and return as heroes. They record videos from war zones about how great it is and how much they enjoy it, only to go back to their previous crimes afterward.

On the other side, Ukrainian authorities have been bombing their own citizens since 2014—those who wanted to break away and form independent republics. But back then, nobody in Europe was holding concerts about it, no one was helping refugees, and there were no benefits, leniencies, or media coverage. Now, the current president of Ukraine tours Europe begging for money to continue the war instead of surrendering and sparing ordinary people who are drowning in grief, unable to even leave the country due to mobilization laws. Meanwhile, his wife travels the world buying luxury handbags.

The US, whose national debt has reached cosmic proportions, has spent decades meddling in Europe and the Middle East and somehow always ends up richer whenever there’s a conflict here. Even during their own elections, they can’t avoid rhetoric about countries on the other side of the planet. Why? Well, someone’s got to buy their weapons. All under the guise of democracy, of course.

And as for democracy in countries where women must wear garbage bags and 9-year-old girls are married off to old men? Oh, you just don’t understand—that’s tradition. And traditions must be respected, right? Very democratic.

To top it all off, let me talk about my beloved Latvia, since I live here. Our small but proud nation donated the largest percentage of its GDP to Ukraine. Well, not the nation—our dear politicians. And they gave themselves a little salary raise too. Oh, and some bonuses. Our wonderful former prime minister, who has dual Latvian-American citizenship, also accidentally spent €300,000 of state budget money illegally. You know, from the taxes paid by citizens. But we forgave him—after all, we’re the kindest and most tolerant people, and he did apologize.

Meanwhile, Latvia is the third poorest country in Europe, leads in population decline, has the highest percentage of minimum wage earners, and ranks among the unhappiest nations. We even tax money transfers over €100. God forbid a single cent bypasses the government—how else could we help Ukraine? Because clearly, the people who have impoverished and tormented their own population will selflessly donate money to help another. Totally not splitting it among themselves.

They consume and consume, but it’s never enough. I hope when the first atomic bombs are dropped, one lands right on me. I’m so done with it all. Though, they probably won’t drop. After all, fewer people would mean fewer victims to exploit, and we can’t have that, can we?

Guys, I played WoW for five hours and still couldn’t farm Al..

Guys, I played WoW for five hours and still couldn’t farm Alunira. I hate this game, computer, and existence itself.

Gods, I’m so exhausted after these past two days. I haven’t ..

Gods, I’m so exhausted after these past two days. I haven’t sat down at all—I’ve been working on repairs, painting old chairs, fixing and cleaning the pellet boiler, running errands, and endlessly cooking. My mom isn’t very skilled at cooking, so I’m in charge of the holiday dishes, and two days at the stove is pretty intense. While we were cooking, my mom was listening to a program about Japan, where they mentioned that it’s not customary to give flowers there. I decided to surprise her and ordered a really cute bouquet because, even though we’re not in Japan, no one gives us flowers either. She was really surprised and happy, and that was so nice.

This year, there were two fewer people at the Christmas table—my dad left the family, and my grandfather passed away. Honestly, it’s probably for the better. I had a great time with my brother’s family—they’re still hanging out, but I’m already in bed because I’m completely wiped out. I’m not very confident at the table, I feel out of place, and I’m ashamed that I haven’t achieved anything. I can’t discuss my accomplishments or work. Everyone else talks about that kind of thing, and I just stay quiet. At one point, my mom even mocked my OnlyFans, saying I only do it because I have nothing else to do and that she’d do it too if she weren’t so busy. It honestly hurt to hear that because I started my OnlyFans to save up for really nice New Year’s gifts for my loved ones, and there just aren’t any decent jobs in our town.

I also don’t drink alcohol at all, so it’s hard and a bit boring for me when everyone else starts getting 😵‍💫🥂. I played some WoW for a bit and enjoyed it a lot, but exhaustion just got me. I really wish I had someone to play WoW with me. Time flies so fast—it feels like I just took my academic leave, and now it’s already Christmas. Life will slip by just like that.

Oh, and I’ve got a hole in my pants. Guess you could say I’ve shown off all my holes 🥴

Who tf hits me when I sleep?

Who tf hits me when I sleep?

You know, I didn’t quite understand OnlyFans. It’s nighttime..

You know, I didn’t quite understand OnlyFans. It’s nighttime here, I took an amazing shower, got all cozy in bed, and suddenly I get a bunch of red warning messages from the site. The gist of it is that I shared photos of other people in my chats, and now I have to tag them, or the content will be removed. But here’s the thing—those screenshots were from ads that subscribed to me automatically and showed up right in my feed.

I didn’t go out of my way to find specific content creators, stalk their pages, or share screenshots of private conversations. Plus, the usernames are clearly visible in the screenshots, so it’s not like I was stealing content. How am I even supposed to tag them? In the list of options provided in OF’s red warning messages, there were only a few of those same promotional accounts, so I tagged them. Makes sense, right? Logical? Logical.

It’s such a weird system with weird complaints. Especially considering these messages are super old—like from early December. I knew you couldn’t post people who aren’t on OnlyFans, but I had no idea I couldn’t screenshot ads that are literally in my feed.

Guys, I went to see Mufasa, and here’s what I can say. The p..

Guys, I went to see Mufasa, and here’s what I can say. The plot is very simple: kid lion Mufasa gets lost and ends up joining another pride, where he befriends the leader’s son, Taka. Mufasa is braver and more straightforward, while Taka is cowardly and introspective. A hostile pride of white lions attacks their land, Mufasa kills the son of the rival pride’s leader, and in retaliation, the rival pride wipes out Taka’s pride. Taka and Mufasa flee together in search of new lands, pursued by the hostile pride seeking revenge. Along the way, the two fall out over a girl, and in the end, Mufasa becomes king, while Taka, who betrayed him during their journey, is renamed Scar and ends up a dependent outcast.

The film is presented as an epic parable, filled with pompous dialogue, mediocre “wisdom,” and dumbed-down comedic inserts for kids.

First of all, the film is stunningly beautiful, and the lions’ muscles look amazing. The lions are less realistic than in the first film—they have rich facial expressions that make their emotions believable. For me, Taka was a huge highlight, along with the depiction of the environment where he and Mufasa grew up. It does a great job illustrating how envy and discord grew between the two best friends, and it’s clear that their fallout wasn’t really about the girl—the seeds of their split were sown in childhood.

Taka was the heir, and his father raised him to believe a king must be cunning, ruthless, and lazy. Meanwhile, Mufasa was raised by a softer, wiser, and more industrious maternal figure who taught him the ways of the lionesses and how to hunt. When the hierarchical system collapsed, Mufasa’s skills and upbringing proved to be the most effective, while Taka—raised as a monarch for ideal circumstances—couldn’t handle the competition.

If this were a real historical story about kings, Mufasa’s reign would eventually end in failure since he wasn’t prepared for it. But this is a children’s movie, where virtues like bravery and honesty are prioritized over cunning and strategy, which is fine. The film does a good job showing how Taka became the Scar we all know from the original movie.

At the end of the film, Mufasa doesn’t exile Scar for his betrayal but allows him to stay, while declaring he will never speak his name again. This leaves Scar trapped in a psychological prison: he isn’t exiled, but he’s too cowardly to leave, and at the same time, he’s obviously unwelcome, pitied, and scorned. Over the years, this warped his character. What’s tragic is that Taka was originally a likable guy with great potential for growth. If Mufasa had been more merciful, Taka could have become his wise and cunning advisor. If Mufasa had been more responsible, he would have exiled the indecisive Taka, giving him a chance to start over.

Unfortunately, the main villain—the white lion—is absolutely terrible. He’s just generically evil, smirking, and muttering vague things against the circle of life. I don’t even understand why the circle of life was mentioned in this movie. In the original, it tied into the idea that hyenas disrupted nature by eating indiscriminately, breaking the balance. Here, everything looks vibrant and flourishing, and the whole “circle of life” talk feels irrelevant.

The ending, where Mufasa rallies all the herbivores against the white lions, is just insane. It would make sense if the white lions were destroying everything in their path, but they weren’t—they were specifically hunting Mufasa and left everyone else alone. The white lion is avenging his son, but the son is barely shown, and his death happens off-screen. There’s no emotional connection between the white lion and his son, and no one cares.

The songs in the movie are absolute garbage. I understand that music is subjective, but for me, these songs were just trash. They’re all the same—generic melodies with vaguely African vibes, sometimes more cheerful, sometimes less. They don’t come close to the original film’s iconic songs. On top of that, there are way too many of them, and given the heavy tone of the story, they feel completely out of place. The film is already too long and artificially stretched out, and the songs just make it worse. Every time a new song started, I wanted to die.

Overall, the film isn’t mature enough to fully and brutally explore the toxic dynamics of family systems and the pain of sibling rivalry. At the same time, it’s not childish enough to engage younger viewers with dynamic and straightforward conflicts. The songs, in my opinion, are completely forgettable. Because of the film’s length, kids in the theater started running around and whining. Next to me, there was a little girl who spent the whole movie sitting on her mom’s lap, whining that she was bored and scared. Then she started jumping, stomping her feet, and shaking the seats.

Honestly, I don’t understand why people bring their kids to public places if they know they can’t behave. There are plenty of alternative locations—a dumpster, a trash heap, an orphanage, etc.

All in all, I’d only recommend this movie for its visuals and to people who enjoy looking at furry characters—and yes, I count myself among them. I’m obsessed with these lions and their muscles. The landscapes and instrumental music (not the songs) are so gorgeous they made me want to cry. Otherwise, the movie is dumb trash. If you want a musical about brothers, go watch The Prince of Egypt instead.

My kittens, today I’m here to either delight or disappoint y..

My kittens, today I’m here to either delight or disappoint you with a single morning boob after my shower because the other one is busy playing WoW. Unfortunately, I haven’t played WoW for a while, even though I really want to. I also want to play that trashy Dragon Age 4, but I’m always busy with something. Today, my mom and I are going to see The Lion King (well, Mufasa), and after that, I’ll finally start working on those stools I told you about. I’ve also set up humane traps for the mice because one was making a ton of noise at night. I really hope I can catch it before it dies and starts stinking up the walls—I don’t want to have to move to the other room again.

By the way, I’ve tried a new skincare product, Madagascar Centella Probio-Cica Intensive Ampoule. If it works well, I’ll recommend it later. I’ve been meaning to share my skincare routine—it’s very versatile and works great for both men and women.

Now, a short story about mice. When I was around 14, I used to go to an English tutor. One day, my tutor had a mouse in her house, and there was a mousetrap set up. During the lesson, the mouse got caught in the trap, but it didn’t die. The tutor put it in a plastic bag, tied it up, and left it to 😵. The mouse squeaked the entire lesson until it finally went silent.

I was such a shy and beaten-down kid back then. I nervously giggled, begged her not to do it, and even offered to take the mouse outside and let it go. But she refused. She probably didn’t think about how much despair and helplessness I was feeling in that moment. I hate that back then, I’d been taught to blindly respect adults and couldn’t stand up for myself.

If it were me now, I’d tell the old hag off, grab the mouse, slam the door, and never come back. I feel so sorry for that mouse—and for the person I was back then. So much pain.

Guys, I consumed the extra chromosome of those subscribers w..

Guys, I consumed the extra chromosome of those subscribers who tell me to lose weight. I hope it helps them. Today, I had to wake up super early to help my mom take my niece to kindergarten since she stayed over at our place last night. She’s an amazing girl—calm, tactful, and incredibly sweet. It’s fascinating how “special” people like my brother and his wife manage to drive her to tears and distract her with the TV at full volume. I really hope they’re already saving up for a psychiatrist.

Afterward, my mom and I spent ages looking for an open café, but as you know, Latvia is such a “great” country that in its second-largest city, nothing opens before 10 AM because apparently, everyone has their own private restaurant at home. At least we managed to eat something tasty at a gas station, though now my stomach hurts like hell.

Then we went to a store that sells everything in bulk, like for cafés. I was absolutely amazed by the giant bags and jars—I’d never seen anything like it before! It’s crazy how cool it is. I know most of my fans are from the States, and buying things in huge packages is normal for you guys. But we don’t have that here, and I was just blown away.

Also, I really, really want to have sex. Anyway, I finally made it back to bed, and now I’m going to keep sleeping.

Guys, there are so many of you, and I’m just one person. I’m..

Guys, there are so many of you, and I’m just one person. I’m not a bot; I reply to everyone myself. If I take a while to respond, it means I’m either caught up in other conversations or busy with my own stuff. Please be patient—or send tips so I notice you faster.

I’m lying in bed right now, watching shows about people living in filthy boxes while having 10 kids without pausing their drinking spree. Earlier today, in the group chat with my university friends, the girls were talking about the upcoming session and exams. And me? I was cleaning the pellet boiler. And it made me feel so miserable. The girls are so much younger than me, studying hard and overcoming one of the toughest courses. For them, it will all be over soon, but for me, it’s still ahead.

Lately, I’ve been haunted by thoughts about university again. I really, really don’t want to go back. I feel so comfortable at home, but inside, I’m tormented by this constant feeling that I’m worthless. Seeing everyone around me achieve things, and doing so without tearing themselves apart, without being the smartest or the most prepared, hurts. I don’t even feel envy anymore; it’s just like I have a kilo of salt inside my chest—sharp, heavy, and unbearable.

The years pass, and I feel like I’m only getting worse. Slower, more incapable of fitting into what society or the state expects from me. The smallest injustice, whether it’s towards me or others, completely destroys me, and I fixate on it instead of calmly adapting to circumstances. Every task I take on, I do so meticulously and thoroughly that it drains all my energy. I can’t stand pointless, boring work devoid of logic—it makes me physically ill.

The world is imperfect, and that’s normal. But every little imperfection in the context of unpleasant, artificially complicated tasks completely crushes me. My university is the pinnacle of these masterpieces of human incompetence and mediocrity. And I don’t want to go back.

I just hope that by the time September comes, I’ll finally have the strength to finish it all once and for all—and never wake up again.

An absolutely delightful situation is unfolding right now. A..

An absolutely delightful situation is unfolding right now. A certain gentleman with certain national features—which I very much want to, but will refrain from mentioning publicly—messaged me, saying that I look good but could still work on myself, especially on my stomach area. He asked if there are gyms in my city.

Despite knowing that this gentleman is only distinguishable from the lower forms of life by the presence of pants in his profile pic, my initial emotions were heavy and negative. My regular followers know that self-acceptance, self-esteem, eating disorders and the struggle with excess weight have been a lifelong and deeply personal journey for me, one I never stop pursuing.

I lacked the willpower to ignore him, so at first, I snapped back, then I tried to explain that I go to the gym three times a week and even sent him a recent post where I discussed the root causes of excess weight in people. I had a faint hope that ignorance, not outright tactlessness, was at play here. But no—this gentleman decided to compare photos of his stomach to mine, point out that his abs are better defined, and claimed I don’t look like someone who works out.

That was when he was swiftly blocked, along with a formal report. The fact that I’m writing this post indicates how much the situation bothered me. I am furious. I am beyond irritated. This braindead signed up to follow my profile, didn’t bother to send me a single penny, and yet feels entitled to tell me what I should and shouldn’t do. People like him? I swallow them whole for breakfast and tuck them into my belly button.

The funniest part is that he justified his garbage commentary by saying he just wanted to “help.” His helpful advice and wisdom were so useful to me that I sincerely hope he finds an expert in lobotomies to return the favor, though even that wouldn’t improve his condition.

As for you, my dear fans and friends, I adore you endlessly. In your honor, I devoured a chocolate Santa and a bucket of mac and cheese. And here’s another photo of my beautiful stomach—soft, warm, protecting me from injuries and the cold, designed for survival and bearing children. It’s also incredibly strong so I can handle real, heavy labor in real-life circumstances, unlike certain people who try to boost their egos at others’ expense online.

Guys, I took a few hot (literally) photos with my favorite p..

Guys, I took a few hot (literally) photos with my favorite pellet boiler. This is absolutely not a scam where I’m just cleaning it in a special suit. Absolutely not.

My dudes, check out this unreal bodysuit of a dockside harlo..

My dudes, check out this unreal bodysuit of a dockside harlot and spring fairy lingerie that I ordered from AliExpress. I was stunned to find that bodysuit is too big for me—by a lot! Which is wild because usually clothes from Asian marketplaces fail to grasp the delicate philosophy of my thick rolls. I’ll have to pull myself together and do a photoshoot in this someday, though I don’t have stockings. Oh well, screw it.

I’ve been insanely busy today, and honestly, the past few days have been hectic but in a good way. This morning I went for my first-ever electrolysis on my face. During the procedure, a thin needle gets inserted under the skin into the hair follicle and zaps it with electricity, and then the technician yanks the hair out. I decided to bid farewell to my glorious beard and mustache. The beard part was fine, but the mustache—my God, I could almost see the Apostle Peter from the pain. But I survived and moved on.

I went to two hardware stores afterward. At home, I’ve got a few very old matching stools that are bright orange and just awful—dirty, worn out, and hideous. So, I decided to repaint them and bring them back to life. I bought paint, brushes, primer, acetone, grinder discs, and more. Nearly passed out at checkout when it all came to almost €100. Honestly, what the hell? I feel like that’s too small a price for the greatest European country, Latvia, which always ranks high in the best lists (like the top in population decline, top in minimum wage earners, and top in unhappiest populations).

But anyway, I’m keeping my spirits up and looking forward to future price hikes so our magnificent and very honest politicians can give themselves more bonuses and fly home to Germany and America.

When I got home, I carried the pellets into the house for the boiler, loaded them in, and whipped up some quick roasted veggies with chicken for my mom. Then I went into the garage to look for the grinder and those stools, because I only had two in the house. Spent forever searching for them, then froze my ass off outside while grinding the paint off the stools in the cold. Afterward, I baked two cheap frozen pizzas that tasted like crap, but I ate them all because I can. Then I talked with my mom, took a shower, and now I’ve finally made it to my bed.

Oh! I’m happy to report that the dead mouse in the wall has stopped stinking, so I can live in my room again.

Anyway, it was a long, productive, and pleasant day. On that note, I wanted to ask—if anyone feels generous, could someone gift me the Snow White cottage Lego set or an old Orthanc Lego set? No harm in asking—I’d be super grateful!

Hi, guys! I’m feeling super lazy about making content. Maybe..

Hi, guys! I’m feeling super lazy about making content. Maybe I’ll do some tomorrow. Or maybe not. I’m just so lazy, seriously. But I’m living my best life—yesterday I spent the whole day cleaning the house, cooking, building some Lego, and cooking again. I’m in an amazing mood. I love you all so much. Have a great day, and don’t forget to drink water. Kisses ❤️

Hello, my sweet kittens! Today I was living my best life. My..

Hello, my sweet kittens! Today I was living my best life. My brother and I finally opened the D&D Lego set and started building it. But he soon had to leave to pick up his daughter from kindergarten and said he wouldn’t have time to continue, so I could finish it all myself 🥵🥵🥵 So, I spent my day building Lego, eating salad and chocolates, and watching shows.

The salad is called “Tbilisi,” and here’s how I make it: I boil lean beef for 4 hours on low heat and chop it finely. I dice a few sweet peppers and sauté them until soft, chop some walnuts and toast them without oil, finely chop a few cloves of garlic and one purple onion, and chop some parsley and cilantro. I mix it all together, add canned red beans, salt, pepper, and a teaspoon of sugar, and dress it with olive oil. This salad can be served warm or cold.

As for the shows, I was watching one about the scariest deaths. One particularly fascinating story was about five cave explorers, four of whom drowned in what’s known as Gollum’s Cave. It’s an easy story to find on Google, but in short: one of the cave’s tunnels was filled with water, and they had to swim four meters in complete darkness. The first woman who dived got stuck in an underwater pocket and died. The others dived after her but got stuck as well because of the body and also perished.

I love watching these kinds of shows, but I’m always baffled by hobbies like crawling through caves. These are tiny, muddy, gross spaces—dark and filthy—and people actually enjoy crawling through them? I just don’t get it. I get everything else, but not that. Luckily, the last time I crawled through a cave was 26 years ago.

I serve Saruman but Netflix

I serve Saruman but Netflix

I found this beautiful dress in my closet. I bought it five ..

I found this beautiful dress in my closet. I bought it five years ago, but it feels like it was just yesterday. I’ve never worn it, it still even has the tag on it. Back then, I was slim, and the dress was loose on me—now I could barely zip it up🥴

I wanted to say that I miss the times when I had just started my OnlyFans. Even though it was so recent—just a month ago. Back then, I knew all my subscribers. They read my posts, we discussed them, shared stories about ourselves and our lives. It felt like a kind of circle of friends. Then some people started disappearing without a word, and it hurt me because it felt like I didn’t deserve it.

Now I have 261 subscribers, most of whom never write to me, or they’re promotional bots. And it’ll only grow. More and more, I get messages from weird guys asking endless questions about my underwear or sending me unsolicited dick pics. It feels like I’m dissolving into this kind of “interaction,” where there’s less and less meaning.

I always knew what OnlyFans is for, but now it feels like that understanding is sinking into me on a deeper level. I can’t grow close to anyone here because, for all these people, I’m just an OnlyFans model—I’m a service. And so they should, first and foremost, be a source of income for me.

Chatting with smart, cultured people is still enjoyable, of course, but my heart has grown colder and calmer. There’s no longer any excitement about meeting new people, no attempts to dig out the personalities of new fans beneath layers of lustful nonsense. It’s just not worth it.

Those who are interested in my body can buy my paid posts or view the free ones—there are plenty. Those who happen to read my posts and find my personality interesting will message me with something meaningful and ask clear questions. It’s either money or truly respectful, deep, intellectual communication. Everything else is just disrespect.

Barad-dûr lights done 🤗 For those who don’t know how to use ..

Barad-dûr lights done 🤗 For those who don’t know how to use the internet—Barad-dûr is the fortress of the Dark Lord from LOTR. Assembling the lighting and the LEGO set itself was very enjoyable and simple, unlike Rivendell, which almost made me jump out of a window.

Guys, what the hell is going on? Why do people on the intern..

Guys, what the hell is going on? Why do people on the internet think Ciri from The Witcher 4 is ugly? 😩😩😩😩 My God, she’s a beautiful grown woman with no retinol, plastic surgery, or injections—she has signs of aging! If someone doesn’t like the fact that women, shockingly, also get older, maybe you should reconsider your existence in the world of the living? I’m not a big fan of Ciri as a character, but her appearance is stunning. She looks like a real person, not just another doll for jerking off with a childlike face, like so many so-called “real” men prefer.They generally prefer either children or other men. If Ciri were a man, there’d be an uproar of excitement, and no one would care about deviations from the lore.

I want to talk a little about body positivity in the context..

I want to talk a little about body positivity in the context of obesity. Considering that, according to BMI charts, I fall into the categories of either overweight or obesity class 1, I believe I have the right to discuss this topic. I’m not entirely sure how things are in the West, but here in Eastern Europe, there is a firmly rooted opinion that “fat people have stolen body positivity from disabled people.” There’s also a widespread belief that it’s necessary to comment under women’s photos to tell them they’re fat—often just as an insult. I once heard a ridiculous analogy claiming that if someone has an open wound, it’s necessary to point it out, and the same applies to being fat. I won’t bother asking where these particularly gifted individuals have left their brains, because it’s clear their nervous systems haven’t evolved beyond that of a lancelet. But let me explain something about fat people.

We know we are fat. We feel the weight of our own bodies. We don’t fit into clothing at stores—not because of natural body size, but because of folds and excess fat. We see cellulite in the mirror. We hate when others photograph us because certain poses reveal how large our bodies are, showing double chins and more. Our legs and fingers swell in the heat. Should I go on? Nobody—except for rare fetishists—wants to be fat. Fat people suffer.

There are some people who are simply ignorant—for example, someone might not know that fruit juice contains a lot of sugar and drinks it regularly, thinking it’s healthy. Such people lose weight quickly with basic dietary adjustments and education. Then there are people who suddenly develop physical conditions—like hypothyroidism, pituitary or adrenal problems. For them, medical or surgical treatment can help.

But then there’s a third group—people who have developed eating disorders (EDs) over time or who were born with issues in the hunger-satiety centers of the hypothalamus. I’ve never felt full in my entire life. I just eat until my stomach is physically full. This has been the case since childhood—I’m always hungry. Through years of harsh diets (my favorite being one where I drank one bottle of kefir and ate one apple a day while running 10 km daily for a month🥴🥴🥴), I developed bulimia. For a long time, the act of purging brought me a sense of relief and satisfaction. This isn’t just about the psychological desire to lose weight but also about vagus nerve stimulation, which induces a sense of calm.

I had bulimia for many years, even when I gained back the weight and wasn’t trying to lose it—it just calmed me down. In my family’s value system, food was the ultimate reward and comfort. Any time I experienced emotions, it was tied to food. At any moment, in any circumstance, no matter how joyful or pleasant, I was always thinking about eating—almost as if to solidify those emotions and calm my anxiety.

A couple of years ago, due to severe stress and an eating disorder, my thyroid collapsed, and I developed hypothyroidism. Over the course of a year, I gained 30 kg. I was incredibly weak, constantly cold, and my brain just didn’t function. People with the particular “gift” of missing brains tend to say that you’re simply overeating and need to cut calories and exercise more. Luckily, I’m a biologist and medic, not a mentally deficient monkey, so I know that during weight loss with hypothyroidism, your body doesn’t use fat—it just starts conserving energy, leaving you dull and helpless, while keeping the fat reserves.

That year, I just thought I was lazy. When my condition was finally diagnosed, I started taking thyroxine, and miraculously, I gained energy, and the weight started coming off. But the hunger didn’t go away, and mentally, I was still the same person, so I continued to overeat.

When I began to develop clinical depression, the scariest symptom for me was that I stopped enjoying food. My brain simply didn’t release serotonin or dopamine. Despite this, I continued eating because of OCD-like tendencies. With high levels of anxiety, eating felt like closing a mental loop or completing an important task. I could never leave a plate unfinished—I’d get so nervous and constantly think about it, even if I didn’t want it anymore.

The biggest miracle for me came when I started taking antidepressants. For the first time in my life, I became selective about food. Now I eat only when I want to and only what I want. If I don’t feel like eating, I don’t. I can stand in front of the fridge, think about what I want, and just walk away if nothing appeals to me. I might eat once a day or not at all. I no longer stress about hitting the right balance of protein, fats, and carbs. If I want pizza, I eat pizza. If I want marshmallows, I eat marshmallows. I don’t force myself to eat chicken breasts or cottage cheese just to satisfy some internal checklist or calm my nerves. When I go grocery shopping, I buy only what I came for.

And I feel full. Not just in my stomach, but in my head. This is the first time I’ve ever experienced this, and it’s an incredible feeling for me.

As a medic, I understand pharmacologically that antidepressants are finally normalizing neurotransmitter levels that were likely disrupted since birth, because I’ve always been this way. As a person, I realize that all these years, things could’ve been different. I realize how healthy people live. I realize that obesity is a disease, and it’s not about willpower at all.

The goal of body positivity is to perceive illness as an illness in a reasonable way — to understand that these things happen and that it’s a variation of the norm, not a deliberate demonstration of an unhealthy lifestyle. Whether to seek treatment or not is the choice of the person with the illness, not their surroundings. Personally, I’m only saddened by the fact that there are now so many super-morbid bloggers who promote pride in their condition to their audience. True pride would be acknowledging that being sick is completely normal and then taking steps to get treatment.

I had a wonderful day today. I woke up around 11 a.m. and wa..

I had a wonderful day today. I woke up around 11 a.m. and was getting ready to walk the dogs when my brother arrived—just him, without his wife and daughter. We had a fantastic walk in the forest, and then he left. After that, I spent some time maintaining the pellet boiler and carrying pellets from the shed into the house. For those who’ve been following me for a long time, you know my boiler and I are practically one; I love it, and it loves me back. Maybe it’s my Eastern European roots speaking—around here, stoves are deeply rooted in folklore and hold sacred meaning, and a boiler is basically a stove.

Later, I shared a delicious frozen pizza with my dog, paired with some Coke, and watched a live show. It was amazing. The dark spots on the pizza aren’t burnt—they’re actually dark red, something like a jam. After that, I created a Reddit account and got banned from a group about puppies, which upset me, and I ended up biting my nails a lot.

Eventually, I pulled myself together and started working on the wiring and lighting for Barad-dûr. Technically, this Lego set belongs to my brother, but he doesn’t know how to do the wiring, so he asked me to handle it. I’d love to keep building it, but it’s almost 1 a.m., and I somehow need to make it to the gym tomorrow morning. A perfect day.

Guys, can someone explain to me how Reddit works? I register..

Guys, can someone explain to me how Reddit works? I registered there for the first time today, subscribed to some topics that interested me, and spent half the day exploring. I got curious about Reddit because one fan said he saw something awful there, and I wanted to check out what else is on the platform. I ended up subscribing to a bunch of subreddits about games, animals, fantasy worlds, and curvy girls.

I posted a photo of my dog in a puppy group and got banned for supposedly spamming OnlyFans. What was that all about? I barely had time to write two comments, and they weren’t even about OF. OF is linked to my profile because Reddit offered the option to connect social media accounts, and OF is the only place where I have a public account. Is that why this happened?

I realized that I’m home alone, so I did the worst photoshoo..

I realized that I’m home alone, so I did the worst photoshoot ever after the shower.

Hello, my sweet kittens! Today I went to the gym, and then, ..

Hello, my sweet kittens! Today I went to the gym, and then, of course, I stopped by the bakery because, obviously, I’m way too skinny. Check out these incredible, exquisite, and aesthetic cake designs!

Dasha and I are watching anime. Strange things are happening..

Dasha and I are watching anime. Strange things are happening—today I got another subscriber from Australia who sent me a very generous tip. We had a nice chat, he went to bed, and… his account is deleted. Those of you who follow me know that exactly the same thing has happened before. I’m starting to think this is some kind of conspiracy.

Last New Year, when the clock struck midnight, I wrote down ..

Last New Year, when the clock struck midnight, I wrote down a wish on a piece of paper, burned it, dropped the ashes into a glass of champagne, and drank it. My wish was to become slim, successful, and marry a dark lord. The first two didn’t work out, so the lord better hurry up.

Watch me as I suck that juicy cock 😻😻😻😫😫😫💦💦💦🫦🫦🫦😋😋😋💋💋💋💄💄💄

Watch me as I suck that juicy cock 😻😻😻😫😫😫💦💦💦🫦🫦🫦😋😋😋💋💋💋💄💄💄