when bad taste, is really good.
an online suitor recently bought me a “micro bikini” for a special video customs request. when my order arrived in mail, I opened packed and with an bemused raised eyebrow held up the two tiny pieces of swimwear. I can’t pinpoint the exact emotion, but at that moment holding the scraps of mesh fabric and the twine that held them together I felt some combination of body dysmorphia insecurity and overwhelming embarrassment or shame that I now actually owned such a sleazy article of clothing? I think of myself as an aesthete; I am someone with impeccable taste, and excellent style. It's point of pride for me - my home, how I travel, my wardrobe, my lingerie collections, my luxury cars....even my sex toys at bespoke. I am drawn to understated luxury, which to me is the only true luxury. And here I was holding a fleshy toned mesh-micro-bikini that I had not only promised to wear but in fact aggressively shake my ass in for 4 minutes on video. Oy vey. I hung the thing over my closet doorknob and for the following two days occasionally shot it a skeptical glance. Fast forward to content shooting day...I grabbed my bottle of body oil, camera and tripod, the tiny stringy thing and went to hunt down the best afternoon glow in the house. If I was going to be immortalized on film in this atrocity it had at least be in the best lightning!
Back in 2016 the podcast INVISIBILIA, then still in their first season, aired the episode “The Secret Emotional Life of Clothes” in which the show hosts examined separate stories, scientific data and consulted with psychologists on the power of clothing and the effect they have on us...in literal measurable ways. One of my favourite of the 7 stories explored in the episode was the Northwestern University “White Coat” experiment that asked participants to take a series of attention tests wearing a white coat. The group who was told theirs was a doctor’s lab coat performed better than the group who wore the identical coat but had been told it was a painter’s coat. Like actual intelligence changed based on the clothing they wore! The stories about the Jew who wore a Nazi shirt during the concentration camps, the silky panties and cross dressing, hoodies and sunglasses. Fascinating stories about people having very real Peter Parker and Clark Kent experiences being transformed by what they wear.
I thought about that Invisibilia episode the moment I slipped into this ridiculous minuscule swimsuit and began to film myself gyrating. There was an instantaneous shift in the energy in the room, it was palpable; my mood, my confidence. There I was wearing this trashy poorly-made and ill-fitting mesh micro-bikini that serves no purpose, not even for swimming, except to advertise the wares like a neon sign flashing “XXX”! I was shakin’ it in the afternoon light and watching myself in the mirror; but instead of feeling silly or off-brand I was like...WHO IS SHE? Nothing about this was understated luxury or curated on-brand content, I did not feel beautiful or refined; I felt like a video vixen, I felt powerful, all woman, frothy and in heat... nothing but god body. Who knew a few inches of fabric could do all that? 😏 sometimes bad taste is really good. this is not the aforementioned custom, but here’s a few snippets of me feeling myself
setting aperture In video makes for the most coy auto re-focusing out-of-focus tease while oiled up and bouncing on a stiff one. this gif is perfect but the full video has pinpoint detail *chefs kiss* I am an artisté and don’t you forget it 😏
**this video is no longer available for purchase
some posts require little introduction. this one feels like art...a subtle “silent movie” voyeur element to these 4 minutes. Choosing this track and watching it back; how impeccably synced it was both in speed and energy...sound editing is a nuanced skill, and I think I understand why best sound editing wins at the Academy’s. I hope you enjoy this film as much as I did creating it.
song: Jamie xx, girl.
my solar return is coming up! my birthday is 3 weeks from today, I’ll be turning 35 and it feels nice. you could not pay me to return to any portion of my earlier life or the previous decade. I have long anticipated my 30’s and now that I’m in my middle thirties there is a sense of “arrival”. Like I have fully arrived into myself, my personhood, into my careers and am at a stage where all the years of hard work and grinding have brought me to what comes next. I got me some big plans for this following decade, goals and ambitions that far outreach my grasp. Someday they’ll write about me like I’m a local legend. Just you watch ;-)
Spending my birthday alone, sheltering-in-place during the pandemic, is a little bit of a bummer, I admit. The older I get the more I just want to break bread with friends and have curated gatherings that are low key and sumptuous.
This birthday I’ll pop a bottle of something vintage and bubbly then take it easy. You’ll find the link in my bio is a short list of top birthday gift wishes, should you want to absolutely make my (birth)day, week or whole month! ✨
eucalyptus stems, steam, steaming hot water running down my sides, breasts pressed against cold glass. this photoset is a love letter to how badly I miss being fucked in the shower
THANK YOU so much to the ride or dies who kept logging back into the livestream tonight, no matter how many times you got booted off. Y’all did me proud. Asking beautiful intelligent questions (even tho my stories and answers were barely heard or missed altogether) Glitchy as all hell...but I had a lot of fun. Definitely more of these in the future 🥰
Hi to all of my subscribers!
just a quick note to please check that you have your DM messaging function activated otherwise my announcements, flirty free videos and all the raunchy PPV will not reach you! Toggle over into your chat settings and make sure receiving messages is switched on so you can receive my notes and we get to connect.
the sunlight was so beautiful this morning, I didn’t want to miss the moment by setting up my camera and finding the right shutter speed and aperture. I didn’t even waste time to put on any makeup, just grabbed the lace set hanging over back of chair near my bedside and let my iPhone do the capturing ✨
when you have tits like these 👀
The 5-minute color video with dirty talk and giggles was sent in the PPV DM’s lastnite. Send $50 tip with phrase “bathtub” in the message to buy video.
Saturday mornings, the sort of morning when we woke up early, filtered sunlight spreading across the bedsheets, stillness....silence...except for the bird's chatter outside the window, and the sound my lips make when they crack open a sly smile feeling your hard dick pressed against the small of my back. We lay there, There's no urgency; the morning is sweet and heavy. Lazily groping and aimlessly fondling...but we don't fuck...not yet. You'll fill me up soon enough and we both know it, so we taking the morning slowly. I'll arch my back and press my ass into you, smiling when you growl and land a firm smack on my cheeks as I roll out from tangled up sheets to start the pour-over, slip into a sheer wrap then put a record on. Swaying my hips, watching myself be watched by you. Today is going to be a delicious day.
🎶 song by Lovage from one of my favourite albums ever ‘Music To Make Love To Your Old Lady By’
I like the idea of you sitting across the room, out of reach, watching me feverishly touching myself while I whimper and beg for your hands on me, for you to take me, fuck me. But no, this is a game of denial and you’re the voyeur only...or this is how I have imagined you anyway, while I play with myself till orgasm.
Watching this back in post-edit and I had a moment where I felt simultaneously mortified by how real and vulnerable I got on camera but also in awe of how beautiful. No music. no distractions, no toys, no performing. just primal pleasure for 7 minutes.
🖋SAVE THE DATE!
I am planning to go LIVE next Tuesday (12 May) and do a flirty live-streaming Q&A with you.
The theme will be “Past Present Future”, there will also be a tipping menu for on-camera activities as well as a striptease game!
Like myself, the majority of my followers are based in North America, but in addition to PST, CST and EST I also have a few fans in the GMT, GMT+8 and GMT+12 to consider when scheduling this thang. LIVE stream will be about an hour long. Let's pick a general time-frame, then a few days prior narrow it down.
Start jotting down your questions now to ask me!
ps. outtakes & bloopers are always the best
MANGA POST!
Here I am, imagined as a slutty submissive hentai character with an oral fixation that only an alpha male can help me satiate when he uses my throat like a cock sleeve *giggles*
THIS post is what has taken me days to focus on and many many (many) hours to create. From buying hair extensions and cutting/styling bangs just for this shoot, then photographing myself and getting the best POV angles, post editing, writing a storyline, scouring the internet finding actual hentai comic frames to use, all the slicing and editing in photoshop, and all the many interruptions to my workflow when my clit was throbbing I actually would have to stop to masturbate. That last point should also give you an idea of where my head is at mentally after all these weeks in isolation...sucking dick is high on the list of my needs/wants currently! Now, here it is 2:15AM and I finally finished and it seems appropriate to post this immediately instead of delaying gratification. Middle of the night is after all how/when I imagined using my mouth in this filthy series of 11 panels. This was a lot of fun to make; sexuality is complex and nuanced and it is exciting exploring different levels of fantasy. Please enjoy and don’t forget to tip 💦
