Why did I hate myself a year ago? It's not obvious now. Back..
Added 2024-04-22 20:15:59 +0000 UTCWhy did I hate myself a year ago? It's not obvious now. Back then, I found myself miserable and weak inside, scared of absolutely everything. There was very little of the real me left. I felt helpless, cornered. That pathetic, introverted creature was nothing like me, yet it was me at the same time. I was shackled, and I had given up without a fight. I was so disgusted with myself then.
How did it manifest externally? I started avoiding any uncomfortable or unfamiliar situation. Even dancing on the beach felt awkward and frightening — what if I looked ugly, ridiculous, silly, or even bothered others? Haha, on a beach where there wasn't a person within 100 meters😂
I stopped looking my close ones in the eye. I was always afraid of something potentially possible. I sat in my shell and let no one in. A hermit crab in a foreign shell. The fire within me had died out. And I actually love to shine, to be the center of attention ✨.
I didn’t have to work too hard on myself. It was enough to realize that I wasn't being myself. And since most of my blocks were somehow related to sex and sexuality, OF was the perfect place to break free from my chains. Plus, my best friend confessed he had always dreamt of starring in porn. So, it was almost meant to be 😏 I had to do everything I was afraid of or embarrassed by, say things my tongue refused to utter. And my blocks gradually started to fall away. I feel very free now. And sexy 😉
That’s my story. So I've been throwing off my shackles here... And now I just really enjoy this game. I am on stage. And the fire burns within me 🔥
P.S. Looks like this is the biggest post there will ever be haha😘♠️
