I tried to fuck a guy I met in Walmart yesterday. I was a bi..

I tried to fuck a guy I met in Walmart yesterday. I was a big fat loser and couldn't get his dick in my guts. He said I was moving to fast. To fast? These guys. They overthink it. It's not like I throw myself at them to trap them under my evil girl lair. They start flirting. I simply cut to the chase and offer to fuck their cock. Quickly with no questions asked. Look...I know it may seem like I'm looking at these guys all dreamy-eyed and infatuated. I'm not. I look at them for the hunk of meat they are. They have a dick. I want the dick. I simply state the obvious. I could care less about emotional feelings and attachments. Stick your dick in me, pump my guts full of baby batter, and I'll pat you on the head and send you on your way. The odds of me calling you or sending stupid texts...zero. Until I'm horny again. Then you might get a text that says, "Want to fuck me?" A simple yes or no will do. Sometimes I flirt with disaster. Then disaster won't stop texting me. It's hard for guys to get a grasp that their cock is all they are good for. Sure, we can be friends. Hang out and do friend things. That doesn't mean we can't fuck. That's the best part about friends. They stick it in you when you need it in you the most and then just go away. Nothing is worse than if they get annoying and emotional about it. And, do keep this in mind, if you are going to flirt and I call you on it then do your best to pump a baby in my guts. Like right away. For fucks sake...don't shy away when I say, "Sounds good, let's fuck." Anyway, I'm cutting this guy a break. If he texts me today, I'm going to try and see if he will let me empty his testicles for him today or this evening. It would be the polite thing to do on his part, that is. I'll let you know. I could use some strange dick right about now. I hate when people want answers at like 6 am. Look...my brain boots up like a 10 yr old PC that has visited way too many porn and gambling websites. It takes a bit and has to go through some spam before I think clearly. Just putting that out there in case some of you are wondering why you get some terrible answers and even worse advice at 5 am. If you squeeze a smurf, what color do they turn? Just a thought. I went to visit Connor at KFC last night. I ordered some food. His coworker asked me if would like thighs or breasts. I said I liked shaved pussy and anal. Apparently, this isn't an appropriate answer at KFC. Connor is still mad. I couldn't help it. If you're going to throw a slow ball at me like that, I'm going to swing big and hit it out of the park. Whatever happened to humor?