*Figure Out What You Want* Single or in a partnership, it’s..

*Figure Out What You Want*

Single or in a partnership, it’s so important for you to take time to think about what you are hoping to experience from a threesome.

Some good questions to start with might be:
- What are you desiring?
- What sounds sexy?
- What doesn’t sound sexy?
- What makes you nervous?
- What are some boundaries you might have?
- What feels vulnerable about this endeavor?
- What are you hoping to experience?

If this is a conversation you’ll be navigating with a partner, I still think it’s good to take some time alone to think through your desires so you can come to the conversation with one another informed.

*Communicate Openly and Honestly*

If you're have the threesome with a partner or FWB or a friend or anyone you know, it’s an excellent idea to discuss how you’re all feeling openly and honestly so everyone can be on the same page and eliminate so many of the questions that you might be overthinking about.

When you sit down with your person to discuss, remember there is no right or wrong way to do this as long as you both (and any future partners you might have) all feel good and excited about everything that’s happening.

Share your desires, share your fears, share your boundaries - this gets to be a really beautiful space to love and support each other during a vulnerable conversation.

*Get on Dating Apps*

Now that you’re on the same page, it’s a great time to get on dating apps. I personally like Feeld & Hinge the best, but that’s a personal preference. I like that Feeld lets you have group chats and links to your partner's accounts - I think it gives an outstanding level of transparency.

When you’re setting up the account(s) be clear about what your situation is, what you’re desiring, what your limits might be, and a little about yourself! What you’re looking for won’t be for everyone, and that’s ok! But being explicitly clear gives people a chance to opt-out and not feel tricked.

*Have Check-Ins*

As you chat, maybe go on dates and maybe even start to play with other people, things will come up. Make sure you check in with everyone involved.

How are you feeling?
Are there things you like a lot?
Are there things you don’t love?
Are there things you want to pull back on?
What about your partner(s)?
How are they feeling?
What might be coming up for people?

Everyone says they want good communication, but when it’s time to get vulnerable and share and walk the walk we often shy away from the hard conversation. Lean in here and choose vulnerability & connection.

*Discuss Desires, Limits & Boundaries*

This is so important to build safety in what you and your partner(s) are building. You want to make sure everyone is on the same page and that you know what isn’t available before you jump into bed. It’s a beautiful opportunity to get to not only build intimacy and trust but also to start to think about what you all might do together and build some sexual tension.

*Have Fun!*

Yes, there should be a lot of communication, and there should be thought that goes into these experiences, AND don’t forget that everyone wants to have fun! So remember to take a deep breath and enjoy each other!

LMK if you have any questions about exploring threesomes, I'd love to answer them!