unrelated caption/possible boner killer post ahead ❗️ I kno..

unrelated caption/possible boner killer post ahead ❗️

I know I mentioned on Friday that my sister came to stay with me for the weekend, and that was because I’ve still been struggling a bit and needed some extra support. I’ve been debating if I should even write this post, but long story short I’ve been experiencing really terrible anxiety since I moved. I don’t regret moving, but I think it was just a lot of change, and it happened really quickly. I don’t do too well with change in general, and this is probably the biggest change I’ve gone thru in my adult life so far. (I know moving in general isn’t that big of a deal, but there are just a lot of personal reasons why this move was significant for me.)

The anxiety has also been spreading into all other aspects of my life which is SO ANNOYING lol. If I am being very honest, I have been struggling a lot with my body image. I know it sounds ridiculous but my brain has just been convincing me that I don’t look good in any content I make. I truly don’t understand it, because the past few months on onlyfans have been my best ever, yet I’m telling myself that no one likes me or my content?? I know a lot of it stems from me comparing myself to other creators (I’ve had a bad habit of doing this a lot lately), I guess combined with the overall anxiety I’ve been feeling. I’m really trying to remind myself that I don’t need to look like anyone else, that I’m here to be me and people like that. I’ve been feeling bad about myself for not looking like a perfect porn star, but I don’t think that’s even what I want my onlyfans to be. I love that I can be a real person with a real body that also loves to be horny on the internet.

The worst part is that I’ve been having a hard time eating and sleeping which of course makes everything worse. It’s literally 3am right now when I’m writing this and I’m wide awake 🥲 I’ve been trying to take edibles some days so that maybe I’ll get the munchies and actually eat enough lol.

Idk really where I’m going with all of this haha, but I felt like it was important to share? And I feel like talking to you guys about this could be helpful/therapeutic in some way. In all of my anxiety, talking and connecting with y’all has truly been a helpful way for me to cope, so I hope you don’t mind me being vulnerable. It’s kinda scary putting all this out there about myself honestly! But it’s important to me that this is a space I can be myself, so I hope you don’t mind.

I’m not going anywhere, and I plan on getting thru this shit. I have a good therapist and I have some anxiety medication I’ve used in the past that I’m starting again 🤞🏻 I guess if anyone has any advice/went thru anything similar, feel free to let me know! It would be nice to not feel alone in this.
I truly hope y’all have been doing better than me the past few weeks haha. It is kinda funny to write all this next to a picture of me naked lmao.
Thank you if you’re still reading this. Thank you for sticking with me. I’m doing my best out here :)