the last post was written about a week & a half ago. i am, o..
Added 2023-06-23 05:14:25 +0000 UTCthe last post was written about a week & a half ago. i am, once again, a mental wreck. idk what media to share with this post, so here's a short clip of me enjoying my camping area before tragedy struck later that night. i attended beyond wonderland at the gorge this past weekend where a shooting took place within the campgrounds leaving 2 women dead & 2 others injured. i am at a loss for words. i went from getting sucked into a trippy mental vortex while staring at screens & listening to beep boop music to wondering if my friends were alive & frantically texting everyone i knew at this event. although none of the victims ended up being anyone i personally know, i feel so so sorry for those who came out this past weekend with the same intentions i had of just wanting to dance & let loose having to face bullets & run for their lives instead. for the past year, i've been saying i want to retire from festivals & don't want to return to the gorge. i keep finding myself going back in search of something to fulfill my soul and each time, i am faced with happenings that make me question whether it's even worth it anymore. i am distraught & heartbroken. i am now scared of all of the outside world. it feels like every time i've brought myself up mentally, an outside force makes everything come crashing down again. i really do not know how to process all of this.
