My dear precious followers, little by little, there are more..

My dear precious followers, little by little, there are more of you, and I’m so glad to see those who are genuinely interested in my strange and perhaps slightly unconventional content. Once again (as always), I want to share my thoughts. Maybe I’m just really tired today, but it feels like OnlyFans is starting to weigh on me.

I originally planned not to post many photos here, just write. But very quickly, everything changed, and my content even became slightly erotic. For me, this is a bit shocking. I haven’t taken as many photos in my entire life as I have in the past two weeks. And they’ve certainly never been this vulnerable. Observant readers know that I had an OnlyFans account a few years ago, but things were very different then, and I barely even remember it. This time, it’s so different, so much more open in every sense.

I’m baring so much of myself, and it’s filling me with confusion, doubts, and false hopes. Hope is the worst of these. I start to think that maybe I can earn money here. But deep down, I know I can’t. My subscribers will either be oddballs like me—which is a rare audience and unlikely to pay—or typical users of the site who expect very explicit content. I don’t want to create that kind of content. And I don’t want to feel hope.

On the other hand, I really need money. It’s not a trap because I know I won’t make money here, but the thought still weighs on me.

I also feel like I’m posting too much—photos and posts alike. It feels repetitive, unoriginal, and pointless. I’d honestly prefer to just take the same photos over and over, in the same poses and clothes. But somehow, that doesn’t feel right either. I made this page for myself, but now I feel like I’m trying to meet some unspoken expectations—ones that nobody even voiced.

Another thing is that I’m constantly checking the site. I wait for messages, try to respond, and I obsessively keep conversations going. I refresh the page every minute, as if my thoughts are starting to revolve around the site. If it were a source of income, that would be one thing. But since it’s not, this is becoming pathological.

So, that’s where I’m at. Maybe I’m just completely drained. I probably need to take a step back, slow down, and let myself breathe.