Well, guys, it seems I really am a fallen woman after all. I..
Added 2024-11-22 18:55:20 +0000 UTCWell, guys, it seems I really am a fallen woman after all. I don’t feel anything about it. Maybe it’s just my mood right now. But I’ve been wanting to post increasingly revealing content here. And I actually enjoy knowing that people are jerking off to me. Honestly, I do. Maybe it boosts my self-esteem, I don’t know what to think about it. It feels like I’m slowly becoming more like the typical locals here on this platform. That’s not a bad thing—I don’t judge them. I just thought this wasn’t about me or for me. But now, I guess I’m in this playful, indifferent mood. Probably because of hormonal fluctuations.
I suppose I should feel guilty toward my parents. But, on the other hand, I’ve already been raised with a constant sense of guilt. What I’m doing on OnlyFans is something I genuinely enjoy. I like reading the feedback from my viewers. I want to experience pleasure and material comfort. I like taking full responsibility for my life, but let’s face the truth: there are very few people on OnlyFans who feel truly happy or safe—whether that’s financially, emotionally, spiritually, or socially.
I want to receive love, attention, and tenderness—even if it’s the kind of attention you’d give to a piece of meat. But I’ll pretend that everyone loves me for who I am. It makes things easier for me that way.
Someone I was deeply in love with once told me, “You really lack tenderness.” And they were right—I do. That’s why I’ll take it however I can get it, in whatever form it comes. I have the right to feel happy, even if it’s within the framework of such a condemned activity.
It’s hard for me to admit this to myself, but I feel like this blog lightens the heavy, crushing weight on my chest. Like I can finally exhale, like an apple tree whose branches were groaning and breaking under the weight of its fruit, until tired travelers began to take the apples, lightening my load and giving me room to grow. It feels as though I can breathe again, as though I can bloom.
I want to share love here and receive it. I don’t have anywhere else where I can just be.
