***CAMGIRL MEMOIR 12 - YOU NEVER FORGET YOUR FIRST TIME*** *..

***CAMGIRL MEMOIR 12 - YOU NEVER FORGET YOUR FIRST TIME*** **October 25th 2011** From the other side of the living room I could see a beautiful green park with a sunny blue sky. It had gorgeous trails that I had felt too cold to explore yet. It looked empty... as most places in the US. I was used to neighbors that always sit in front of their houses and play samba on the weekends, busy sidewalks, packed parks with people chatting, vendors everywhere, and caramel coloured doggos walking around... No matter where you were in Brazil it felt alive. Most of all, I missed feeling at home. Specially when the one I lived at felt just like a house. Walking to the bedroom I could see the pool from my window. The sun shined and invited me, it was a gorgeous day, but unfortunately I knew the trick already: No matter how sunny it looked, I'd have to wear a jacket. It was WA State after all. So instead of going out, I sat on the bed looking at my laptop. An e-mail from MyFreeCams covered my screen. It was saying my documents had been accepted and all I had to do now was to log on and start banking. I had been watching camgirls for months. Even befriended a couple of them while I pretended to be a guy. Whenever they started "doing their thing" I'd leave. So I was naturally drawn to the "softcore" girls. There were a couple of them that were extremely popular and always on top 10 (of most successful in the site). Of course they looked adorable. But what amazed me the most was how often they would go live: Every.single.day. My (now ex) husband had left to work and I had the day off. My hair was done since the military party from the prior weekend and my clothes were just done drying. Everything conspired in favor of streaming.. like, right now. Cluelessly, I started applying my new make up. I put on lipstick, mascara, picked up the closest to my color foundation and applied with my fingers, covering my whole face in a mono tone of "Ivory Beige". Went to the dryer, picked up the smallest shorts I had, and a mini jacket with only a pink bra underneath. Whew! I thought my heart would fail from beating so fast. My laptop was set on the living room table in front of his giant booze collection with a lot of already empty bottles. The webcam was the one that comes with the computer and I guess that was it. I was ready. The site asks me to write a Topic and a Goal so I type something that I saw another girl doing: **It's my first time here! 150 tokens to sexy tease** I breathed deeply, clicked the "Go Live" button and sat there with a nervous smile. My "Just New" tag caught the viewers attention and the guest numbers started to go up. My highest number of people on that day was in the mid 30's. ***Random1: mmmmm what do we have here*** ***Random2: hi sexy*** *Hi Random1 my name is Bella how are you? Hi Random2!* The minutes go by and I start regretting my decisions. The chat is awkward and I don't feel comfortable nor sexy. In fact, I feel like a product displayed on Amazon.. Amazon? more like AliExpress..I start moving my mouse to click on log off, when a loud tip sound startles me for a change: ***mfbill tipped 10 tokens and left a message: well let me be the first to tip then, to get the party started*** *"Thank you Bill!!! You are my first tipper ever!!!"* ***BUTCH8 tipped 10 tokens*** *"OMG Thank you Butch! Well let fix the goal in the topic..* (yup.. we had to do it manually lol) **Room Topic: It's my first time here! 130 tokens to sexy tease** ***mfbill tipped 10 tokens and left a message: you are doing great, don't get rushed into anything, but try teasing us as you get more comfortable, it will help with tips*** ***BUTCH8 tipped 10 tokens*** *"Thank you guys"* I was shocked.. whenever one guy tipped the other matched the tip. **Room Topic: It's my first time here 110 tokens to sexy tease** ***Random3: OPEN TITS BB!*** ***Random1: can i see ass?*** ***mfbill tipped 10 tokens and left a message: lol, the requests are starting, they didn't give you much time*** ***Random2: hi sexy*** *Hahah I guess I have to get used to everything here* **Room Topic: It's my first time here 100 tokens to sexy tease** ***BUTCH8: I'm back!*** ***Random2: Hello sexy ass*** ***BUTCH8 tipped 10 tokens*** **Room Topic: It's my first time here 90 tokens to sexy tease** *Thank you Butch! I will dance to a song guys!* I needed a break from looking at that screen. I chose some early 00's R&B and started to move around to find the most flattering angle. ***Random2: hi sexy tits*** ***mfibill10: Are you going to let us take a peak?*** I could feel my cheeks burning and red. I guess it's an expectation to show your body, right? I had already been dancing clothed anyways... GULP! I didn't want to. But also, I had not felt wanted in awhile. It's not like I had to respond or justify myself to anyone in my life. I was already used to being on my own since my mid teens. No one cares, plus, no one will know.... right? It's not like this is a video that will end up in a porn site. It just happens here while live, and disappears into the internet black hole.. right???? *"S sure.. yes! I will let you take a peak.. but we have to finish this topic soon"* ***BUTCH8 tipped 50 tokens*** ***BUTCH8: add me to pm beautiful*** Oof I didn't think the goal would go by so fast.. **Room Topic: It's my first time here 40 tokens to sexy tease** I couldn't contain the dopamine rushing through my brain. People were tipping me, giving me real money... in my own living room?! ***Random1: fuck yeah lets tip her guys!*** ***mfibill10 tipped 20 tokens and left a message: i will chip in, you will be ready for a group soon*** G..g..group? Too soon - I think to myself - I'm not even sure I want to get topless yet. **Room Topic: It's my first time here 20 tokens to sexy tease** ***mfibill10 tipped 10 tokens and left a message: cant wait to see what this tease might be, I don't worry about limits, ease into it slowly*** **Room Topic: It's my first time here 10 tokens to sexy tease** ***Random1: woohoo*** ***Random 2: Open shirt*** I freeze on my chair. My hands are sweating and I feel like my stomach is trying to run away. ***Random1: We are almost there*** ***BUTCH8 tipped 10 tokens*** ***Random1: thank you man!*** ***Random3: naked?*** ***Random2: ass*** *Thank youuu! We reached the goal! I..need to get some water! BRB!* ***Random5: good job guys*** I walk in circles in my kitchen... "What do I do? What do I do? Maybe the site can return their money? I was sitting in my living room for 40 min. and made what I make in 1 hour after driving, going out in the cold and standing on my feet at the store while listening to rude Karens and pervert guys hitting on the cashier. Well...the perverts were there but at least not in person... Hm...ok! sounds good! I go back to the living room and pick a slow beat song. As I start dancing I see the comments in chat piling up but I refuse to read any of it. I lift my shirt a bit and my hands start to shake so I lower it again... ***mfibill10: I love the tease*** The pressure building up. The chat complaining I'm taking to long.. I turn my back to the camera and lift my shirt.. my breasts now all out in the wind of the fan. The bells go out to remind me I still didn't do what I promised. A deep feeling of anxiety takes over me. ***dragonborn6 tipped 20 tokens*** ***Random2: hey sexy tits*** As soon as the tip was sent the kitchen door starts clicking, someone is opening it. My husband is coming early from work! And even though we had already talked about me camming I felt like I was caught doing something wrong. So I did what any 12yo does when you enter their room too soon after knocking... Turned around in a desperate jump and closed the laptop real hard: CLACK! Ended my first show ever with a bang. *** "PaulsBalls" lol! I logged back on at night but no one from afternoon was there 🤷🏻‍♀️ Butch found me again on 2017 and stayed until 2019.. mfbill disappeared forever