***CAMGIRL MEMOIR 11 - A SHOULDER TO CRY ON*** **2012-2014*..

***CAMGIRL MEMOIR 11 - A SHOULDER TO CRY ON***

**2012-2014**

I was determined to make camming work for me somehow. As frustrating as it was to log on to empty chatrooms and boring one sided conversations I had a small group of supporters that made me believe I could do well in the site.
The challenge excited me, although some nights were more difficult than others.

That night was one of these.

All my "3" friends were busy or not able to log on that night, which meant I had to endure the wild world of internet porn on my own. The chat was quiet.
And the few chatters that showed up wanted no more than a cold transaction... on credit... to start paying in 6 months or never.

Mr. Gentleman showed up in my chatroom filled with ***"How many dicks can you take?"*** and ***"shake ass"*** conversations like a real knight in shining armor.

His first tip was a request to add to friend's list.

***Mr. Gentleman: hey! thank you for adding me. you are very beautiful***

*Bella: Of course (: How are you tonight?*

***Mr. Gentleman: i'm new to these kind of webcam sites and i never pay for anything. but i wonder if you'd be interested in going private with me?***

*Bella: yes we can go. Have you checked my Profile? I don't use toys or anything like that.*

***Mr. Gentleman: yes i did actually. that's not an issue for me. i really would just like to talk to you and see where it goes from there.***

**Private Session started**

***Mr. Gentleman: so beautiful lady where are you from?***

***Mr. Gentleman: really? do you miss it?***

***Mr. Gentleman: heh i get it... what is your favorite late night snack?***

***Mr. Gentleman: do you want to make some now? show me how you do it***

***Mr. Gentleman: wait but that looks uncomfortable, isnt really late there already? why dont you wear your pajamas first?***

***Mr. Gentleman: hahah those are cute. much better!***

We spent over 1 hour chatting and talking about things like: best ways to make a smoothie, how to shovel ice when it snows, favorite movies and foods.
I made a late night snack as we chatted and said our goodbyes when I was done eating.

At the end of that night I felt amazing. It had been my longest private to date and I just felt "loved" and taken care of.
Not one piece of clothing was removed nor any request of sexiness effort. I was baffled wondering why a guy would want to do that with me online. I hoped he would come back many times.

Mr Gentleman took a week or so to return, and after that he would come even more often. He would show up 4 times a week sometimes.
Never talking in Public chat, always taking me Private, always requesting me to change into comfortable clothes and never wanting to do anything more than hang out.

Once I dared to ask him why he was on MFC:

***Mr. Gentleman: a friend of mine was mentioning this concept of girls on webcams and curiosty got the best of me. ive seen you a month ago until i decided to get some tokens and interact with you. what did you think of The Walking Dead's episode from last night?***

And the night went on.

The privates spaced out over time but Mr.Gentleman never changed. Sometimes he would ask me to dance slowly for him without nudity, but most of the time he just wanted to hear me talk about anything.

Things on MFC started improving exponentially the more my camscore grew and I started getting the hang of working the chatroom. I was finally able to move to a prettier apartment and felt very excited with everything.

Until one night I was unable to stop coughing.

This cough evolved into a bad case of bronchitis going pneumonia. And just like this I quit camming to take care of my health. Life happened in a different path for awhile but not forever.

The day I returned, about 1 year and a couple of months later, Mr Gentleman was there. And as usual he took me Private:

**Private Session Started**

***Mr. Gentleman: how have you been? i understand life happens but i missed you so much***

***Mr. Gentleman: i'm glad you feel better now! i saw your notification and thats why i logged on. i want to tell you that you have no idea how much you have helped me the past year. you really dont even know***

***Mr. Gentleman: wear your pajamas and lay down so you can be more comfortable***

It was a delightful Private show as we chatted away about things like the world cup and how Brazil lost to Germany 1x7 and how The Walking Dead was much better in comics and the show went downhill.
Before we said our goodbyes, he made a request:

***Mr. Gentleman: Bella, whats a good email to reach you out?***

*****

A couple of days later there was a new message with an annexed file.

In the picture a woman smiled to the camera. She had dark thick hair and kind dark eyes. Something about her smile, eyebrows, face shape really reminded me of someone.... me.

And the message read something like this:

***"Bella, thank you so much for all the time we have spent together. I know I haven't talked much about myself but I feel it's finally time to talk about it.
I have a family. A wonderful 4yo and a lovely wife.
For 2 years now I have been living my worst nightmare. My beautiful wife has passed away in a sudden accident leaving me and our daughter desolated. Amid these dark times, 5 months after she had left us, I found your chatroom and your smile caught my attention from the home page.
Among all those thousands of women I could only see you because to me you look just like her. And I don't mean only physically but the way you talk, the way you smile, your eyes, your posture and even your hands...
Spending those moments with you helped me get through the loneliest and most painful nights of my life. I don't even know if I'd be here now if it weren't for you being there.
She will forever be the love of my life and I long for the day we can me.et up again.
However it's time for me to let go and start trying to move on with my life and take better care of myself mentally and physically. I need to, and being on that site isn't helping me anymore.
But I wanted you to know how much it's been good to having known you. I'm forever grateful. Keep being yourself.

Much love,
Mr. Gentleman"***

Under the picture. A sign that read "In loving Memory"

My eyes teared up imagining how it is to be in Mr. Gentleman's shoes.
I never saw him on MFC again, but for a long time I felt a deep sad kind of happiness (or this is how I shall call this weird feeling) whenever I thought of him. To this day I remember this family and hope they are doing well.