I'm pretty sure you don't care but I feel absolutly horrible..
Added 2021-01-25 19:12:36 +0000 UTCI'm pretty sure you don't care but I feel absolutly horrible today. Been feeling like crap for a week now. Just wanna love myself but my own saboteur is throwinng me stones every time I get my head up. My mind fucks me hard. I called him Ed, he tends to show up quiet often, sticks aroung all day, a hand on a joint and the other on French Fries. Lethargic, Lazy, like every step is a mountain to conquer just to stick his hand in the never ending pit of the coldest place of my studio. I tried, for over a year now to make him stop. Talking to him with an open heart, truly believing in every single word that was coming through my lips. But it's like it enters one ear and flews out the other. As insignifiant as the soft wind that catch the last leaf of that single tree, in that single field, of that single place. But the picture in too big and I can't seem to shout hard enough. Am I strong enough ? Or did Ed stole from the last bit of willpower I have ? I've been silent for so long but I just can't keep going like this. I want to be proud of myself but don't know if I can allow me that privilege.
