


Day 46 in Spain Growing up makes me hate festivals, birthdays and newyear countdowns. Today I cried. this is about the second time Ive cried after I arrive in Barcelona. I feel incredibly lonely. I miss my family. I miss my parents I miss my sisters I miss my grandparents I miss them so much so much. what am I gonna do on the new year festival? It's gonna be the first time I spend it without being with my family first time in my life - for 22 years... I love my family. I miss them a lot a lot. And Christmas is coming. Everybody is being with their family but me. I wanna spend it with somebody I love too. but, where is he? what am I gonna do? I don't want to be left alone but.... I hate Christmas. I hate it. I hate every festival. I wanna be happy. I'm not happy. also Spain is fucking cold. I can't stress how much I Hate the cold. I hate the cold. wish it would be over soon. I can't deal with the cold. I am frozen here. And my landlord doesn't give me heater. I pay 500 euros a month and no heater. I cried on the street today. sad and cold. worst combination ever.